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Sunday, September 7, 2014

Cebu Coffee Shops (Part 4)

By: Ram

“How was your exam?”
“Bullshit!” he hit the steering wheel and made me jump.
“Jon, bai…” I said, trying to calm him down. He was breathing heavily and he gave out a sigh.
“Sorry Ram. It’s just…” he said in between breaths. I nodded at him and held his hand on the steering wheel. He smiled.
“That’s better.” I said.
“Dinner?” he asked, starting the engine.
“Dinner.” I replied.

He took me to Mountain View and there, we ate a silent dinner after the stressful exams. I was happy, we both were but there was something that was bothering me and I couldn’t take it any longer.
“Jon, I have a question.”
“What is it bai?” he said, sitting straight and waited for me to speak but I found it very hard; I felt my throat going numb and my mouth running dry. But I had to do it so I swallowed hard.
“Bai, what are we bai?” I asked him but he only raised his eyebrow and gave me a confused look.
I sighed, “I mean, what is this between the two of us Jon? Are we fuck buddies? Friends with benefits? Best friends? Just a friend? Are we something else completely? Or is there nothing here between us?”
He was just silent so I decided to continue, “Bai I know nga what we have going on between the two of us is really great and that we’ve confessed our feelings towards each other but dinha ra gyud kutob tanan bai? (Is that all there is to us?)I need a name for both of us bai, what are we? It’s stupid and shallow I know but it’s weird for me bai. Are you mine? Am I yours? Are we allowed to-”
“Ram shut up.” He said, “Just shut up bai okay?” What the fuck, is he for real?! I thought.

I was hurt. There I was, pouring my heart and thoughts to him and he just told me to shut up.
“Fine.” I stood up and walked away, trying to hide the tears from him. I walked as fast as my feet could take me down the slope but he was able to run after me. He was standing in front of me and stopped me while trying to catch his breath. He began to smile and laugh.
“So this is funny bai? Fuck you oy.” I said and walked passed him but he caught my arm.
“Ram just shut up for a while okay?” he said. He made me face him.
“I was going to do this after the dinner but you are so impatient.” He smiled but I just rolled my eyes at him.
“You’re so cute. Anyway, close your eyes.” He told me. I refused but he urged so I gave in.
“Don’t open them until I tell you ok?” I nodded at him. He then took my right hand and I could feel his fingers between mine. His fingers lingered for a while.
“Don’t open them yet ok.” He said. Then I felt something cold on my index finger. I was about to open my eyes to take a peek but he covered them with his hand. “I said no peeking!” he said so I closed them back again. I could feel his hand on mine, his thumb rubbing on my thumb then I felt his lips on mine. Our kiss lasted for a minute or two or three or four, honestly I lost count. We both were lost in the moment, completely forgetting that someone could see us. But at that moment, we didn’t care. It was just us.

He pulled away and I could feel him smiling.
“Can I open them now?” I asked. He kissed me lightly on the forehead and I guess that was a yes. When I opened them, he was smiling widely in front of me and there was a thin silver ring with intricate, abstract carvings on its surface on my index finger. He grabbed my hand with his and held them both up high.
“Ram. I am yours and you are mine. I love you.” He said and I smiled at him. But his face turned into a scowl.
“What?” I asked.
“You were supposed to repeat those words to me too.” He said and I laughed at him. He’s so cute.
“Jon. I am yours and you are mine. I love you too.” I said and he gave me another passionate kiss.
“Now let’s go back and finish our dinner.” He said.

Things were going great, our relationship was going strong and frequent I love yous have been said and whispered between the two of us. There were nights when he’d surprise me at home and he’d sneak into my room but both of us were patient, we made sure that our first time was going to be special. It happened during sembreak. His parents were away and we had their house all to ourselves for the whole week. On our first night, he prepared a candlelit dinner for us in their garden. It was so romantic; there were candles around us, he set up a little stereo that played romantic instrumentals, there was a bottle of wine and the best part was that he was the one who cooked dinner. He completely surprised me and outdid himself. The best night ever.
We chatted over dinner and when it was done, he looked at me and I smiled at him; we were ready. He led me upstairs to his room. We kissed, savouring the taste of our lips and kissing ever visible inch of our bodies. We slowly undid our clothes until we were both naked, standing face to face in the moonlit room. We lay in bed and continued our passionate kissing; our skins grew hot against each other and we could feel each other getting excited with each passing moment.

“I love you.”
“I love you.”

We constantly whispered to each other as we progressed from gentle to aggressive. We were all over each other. That night, we didn’t sleep much.

The week went great. We did the grocery that would last for a week and was enough for the two of us. Every morning I’d wake up to his cooking or twice he surprised me with breakfast in bed. And we’d just lay in bed the whole day or watch a movie and bask in each other’s company. We took a shower together, cuddled under the sheets. And at night, we satisfied our carnal pleasure and physically expressed our affections towards each other. All in all, we got lost in our own little world. It was perfect and if I had my way, I wanted to stay in our little nest.
But things never really go the way we want them to.

“Ram!” Jon called out to me as I was rushing to my next class.
“Yeah?” I said.
“Dinner party this Saturday night at our house ok?”
“What’s the celebration?” I asked.
“My love for you.” He whispered and I punched him lightly on the shoulder. We both laughed
“My parents always have this little gathering before Christmas. They told me to invite some of my friends. Go ok?” he said and I nodded.

Saturday came and I drove myself to their house. And again, it wasn’t just a little gathering. Since I had no friends, I decided to go with my schoolmates who were also there. To my surprise, Sarah was also there (the girl who Jon claimed as his girlfriend before) but I brushed it off since they were close friends. His friends got over the little accident and they were cool that night, they didn’t make me feel out of place. Jon joined us and he sat beside Sarah. Ouch. I didn’t mind it and continued talking with his friends.
During dinner, I couldn’t help but keep glancing at both of them; they were extra touchy. Jon caught me looking at them and his expression changed. I stood up and went to the bathroom.

After I got in the bathroom, the door opened and it was Jon.
“Hey.” He said and I only gave him a weak smile. It was awkwardly silent so I quickly went to the wash area to turn on the faucet. As I was washing my hands, he caught me in a back hug and lightly pressed his lips on my neck. I lightly pulled away from his embrace.
“Is something wrong Ram?” he asked.
“Wala man.” (Nothing’s wrong) I replied but really, I want to tell him something’s bothering me. But I can’t. Because I love him and I know that he loves me and if I told him about my stupid little jealousy then it’s like I’m saying that I don’t trust him. So I remained quiet and tried to get out but he closed the door.
“Someone might catch us.” I told him.
“I don’t care.” He said and the jealousy disappeared. I smiled the biggest smile I could muster that night and kissed him.
“That’s better.” He said after pulling away and we went out.

“Jon there you are! Come here, I’d like you to meet some people.” His mother called out to him when we came back. “And bring your girlfriend with you.” He looked at me but I avoided his gaze. Sarah walked up to him and he grabbed her hand, soon enough both of them were drowned in the circle of friends of his mother.

“Malanay nana sila tanan if you won’t stop staring bai.” (They’ll all melt if you won’t stop staring.) Mike, Jon’s best friend, sat beside me and startled me.
“Ha? What do you mean bai?” I acted innocent and laughed, shifting my gaze from where Jon and Sarah were laughing with Jon’s mom and her friends. I was keeping an eye on them and I noticed how Jon’s hand kept on looking for Sarah’s and how he held her back, how he whispered to her ear with his lips brushing her cheek and ear and how Sarah reacted to all of these but I didn’t notice that I was staring until Mike made it obvious for me.
“Bai, don’t even try to hide it.” Mike slapped my back and continued, “Follow me, we’ll talk.” And I followed him to his car.

“Do you smoke bai?” Mike asked me and I refused.
“So what do you want to talk about?” I asked him as I leaned beside him.
“No bai, what do YOU want to talk about?” he said.
“Nothing, liboga nimo bai oy!” (You are so confusing.) I said and laughed. I was about to leave him when he stopped me.
“Ram I know.” He said and I looked at him.
“Know what?” I tried to give a small laugh and pretended not to know what he was talking about.
“C’mon bai, stop acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about.” I returned to my place beside him and sighed. He put his arms on my shoulder and said, “It’s ok bai.” I gave him a weak smile.
“How did you know?” I asked him.
“I noticed it, you guys were acting different. Then Jon told me one night. He was crying, he didn’t know what to do. He called me and told me that he needed to talk to someone so we met.”
“Then he began to tell me everything and I was just silent. After that, he asked me if I was disgusted by him, if I didn’t want to be his friend anymore.”
“What did you say?” I asked.
“I punched him on his shoulder and told him, ‘Is that how you think of me? 11 years of friendship Jon, I love you like a brother bai.’ then we both laughed and we hugged it out.” He smiled and I smiled at him.
“Thanks.” I told him.
“For what?”
“For being so accepting. And for being there for him. For us.” He shrugged his shoulders and smiled.
“Do you want to go back now?” he asked me. I shook my head.
“What’s wrong?” he asked me but I was silent.
“You can’t take the scene that’s happening?” I nodded and he laughed lightly.
“I mean, of course he didn’t tell his parents or anyone else about me, about us but seeing both of them hurts. Even if I know that his heart is with me, it still hurts. I guess I’m just jealous of the fact that he can openly touch her and show affections towards her while both of us can only do it in the shadows.” I sighed.
“This is hard.” I said and Mike only nodded and said, “I really don’t know what to tell you right now. But Ram, it’s ok. Things will be ok bai.” He smiled and it made me a little better.
“Thanks a lot bai. Thanks for the support gyud.” I told him. We stayed there for a couple more minutes until we decided it was time to go back.

When we returned, Jon and Sarah disappeared so I left Mike on the table and began looking for them. They weren’t in the party area so I decided to try and search in the house. When I entered, I heard giggling and followed the voices to the upper floor. The voices grew louder and it led me to Jon’s room. The door was slightly open and when I peeked inside, the sliding door to his balcony was open and I could see both of their backs, they were leaning on the railings.
“So what’s the deal between you and Ram?” Sarah asked, “You guys became pretty close.”
Jon shook his head and laughed, “Nothing! The kid is pretty friendly that’s all.”
“And what about the rings?” Sarah pointed at Jon’s finger.
“He gave it to me, a sign of our friendship daw. Sounds pretty gay to me.” And he laughed. I wanted to walk away but my feet wouldn’t move.
“I knew that kid was gay. Stay away from him or he might infect you with his disease.” She laughed and Jon gave a forced laughed.
“Let’s not talk about him, it’s getting weird.” Jon said and Sarah leaned closer to him.
“Sorry. What should we talk about?”
“What if we don’t talk and do something else?” There was lust in Jon’s voice and I couldn’t stop the tears from falling.
“Like what?” Sarah leaned in closer.
“Like…” their lips met and I closed my eyes. I quickly went out of the house and ran straight to my car. There, I cried like the little gay boy that I was.

After thirty minutes, or an hour (I lost track of time), there was a knock on my window. It was Jon.
“Hey.” He said as I rolled down the window.
“What’s wrong?” He asked as I wiped the tears away.
“Nothing. I’m pretty tired. I want to go home.” I attempted to close the window but he stopped me, “Ram what’s wrong.”
“Nothing.”
“Come out of the car for a while.”
“I’m going home.”
“Please?” he opened the door and I sluggishly went out.
“Let’s talk.” He said and I waited for him to say something.
“Well then, talk!” I snapped.
“What’s wrong with you?” He said, putting his hands on my shoulders.
“What’s wrong with me? I guess I’m just a silly gay boy who’s too friendly, giving away friendship rings. Better step away from me before I infect you with my gayness bai.” I told him and he fell silent.
“Yeah, I heard what you said. Saw what you did. Sorry bai. I’m so sorry for actually believing in you Jon. Sorry for doing all the things that we did. Sorry that I love you.”
“Ram-”
“Oh! Kuhaa ni imo’ng singsing, ihatag ni Sarah!” (Here! Get your ring and give it to Sarah.) I pulled out my ring and threw it at him. By this time, he just kept his head low and avoided my gaze.
I was about to get in my car but my knees gave in and I fell to the ground and began crying. My chest heaved and it hurt. My lungs were gasping for breath and my vision was clouded by tears and anger and pain.
“Ram. Sorry Ram.” I heard him whisper behind me. I wanted to say something but I found it very hard to do.
“Ram. Please. I’m so sorry.”
“Bai, sakit kaayo Jon.” (It hurts so bad.) I managed to say in between the tears and gasps of air.
“I didn’t mean them bai. Ram sorry Ram. I love you. You’re the one I love Ram. I’m so sorry Ram. Please Ram.” I felt his arms but I shook them off. I felt the sincerity in his voice and the pain and tears in them too.

“Jon sakit gyud kaayo. It fucking hurts like hell bai!” (It really really hurts!) I was shouting and facing him, punching his chest as he tried to calm me down and hug me.
“Sakit kaayo. (It hurts so much) Buang ka. Fuck you. Sakit kaayo. Buang ka. Fuck you. Sakit kaayo. Buang ka. Fuck you. Sakit kaayo. Buang ka. Fuck you. Sakit kaayo. Buang ka. Fuck you. Sakit kaayo. Buang ka. Fuck you.” I repeated them again and again as he tried to calm me down and hug me. But I kept on saying them like a mantra, in hopes that he could feel the pain I was feeling.

“Ram please!” He yelled and held both of my hands. I stopped and looked at him, tears and pain were on our faces. We just stared at each other and he locked his lips with mine. For a moment, the pain and betrayal that I felt disappeared. But then I remembered his kiss with Sarah. I pushed him away and tried to say something, but no words could explain just how much pain I was feeling. So I just cried and slumped my shoulders in surrender.

“Ram-”
“Don’t.”

I drove home and spent the whole night and the next day crying in bed, ignoring his texts and calls.

After that night, avoiding him was easy thanks to the holiday break. I didn’t reply to any of his texts, ignored all of his calls. On December 26, he knocked on our house but I told our helper to gently send him away. His texts and his calls never stopped; everyday he texted me about the things that he was doing, asking me how I am, telling me to eat, saying sorry again and again and he’d also call but I ‘d still ignore all of them. I thought I could keep this up but one day, a day after new year, a text from him shook my world.

“Ram, I’m leaving. We have a lot to talk about, I hope you’ll talk to me bai before I leave. I’m sorry again. I love you. I love you so much.”

To be continued.

88 comments:

  1. Damn Ram...give us some more!HAHA

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    1. I've submitted na part 5 bai! that is all that I can give between Jon and I :) hahaha
      -author

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    2. Last year paka ni grad sa Medtech? ��

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  2. Wala koi masulti bai Ram, is this a recent happening? Must be a very painful experience. I know no words cannot express the pain fully. Its just sad :(.
    Curious ko sa next ninyu nga convo :)

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    1. it is painful bai and it sucks :( part 5, hopefully, will be posted next week bai :)
      -author

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  3. I guess seloso masyado si ram. Alam naman nya na ganun ang situation nila he could have been more open and appreciated wat they had special. Ayan tuloy time is wasted for pain n crying imbes na gud memories. But nice experience na rn. Cant wait for the episode...

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    1. i don't think so... seloso xa masyado. there was reason for him to be jealous, he was made to believe na okay cla. He was even clueless that Jon n Sarah were still together. That's soooo OUCH nmn bai, at first glance, they were touchy. Ram was there he knew that. Grrrrr... Guess, he was confused n most likely not yet too brave to fight for his love for Ram to d point of denying Ram, as just too "friendly?", giving him that ring? xeeeeeeyt STUPID. stab on d chest? SAKIT kayaaaaaa nun.... HE HAD ALL D REASON TO BE JEALOUS so d un masyado, please lang.

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    2. Well there's the witnessing part pero it was ram who in a way listened to their convo. Jon hide it as much as possible para di mahurt si ram. Jon was in a difficult situation n he's doing his best to make up with ram. I mean giving rings? That's like so iconic in love. Si ram kasi he seems to have issues in lobe lagi nyang kinocompare yung past nya na kahit maganda na nangyayari sa kanila continue pa rn sya nagworry. I understand theres the pain n hurt pero sana mas naapprrciate nlng tlga ang great moments nila together. Then again ganun talaga ang life. I appreciate ram's honesty din. Hopefully something gud for the both of them in next episode....

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  4. Kahinanglan na gyud ta magkita baaaaai! Para ma comfort tikaw! Boanga sad Jon oy pero kasabot sad ko gamay sa iyang nabuhat pero still, boanga sad. :)

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    1. you'll make libre bai? hahahaha buang gyud tanan bai tsk
      -author

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    2. ApiLa kog Libre ninjo bai be...ahehehe

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  5. huhuhu xeeeeyt ani wui.... OUCH kaau tu bai, why u had to witness that? SAKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT jud au bai. huhuhuhu. oh my gaaaaaaaas Ram. huhuhu more beeeh, ka bitin wui xeyt.

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  6. Bai update na pls :-( the emotions are overflowing, its hard to wait for another week.

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    1. sorry bai but we have to wait for the admin gyud to post part 5 :(
      -author

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  7. OMG!! Nakafeel sad ko sa nafeel ni Ram pagbasa nko.. SHIT!! Dugay kaayo mawala, bug.at kaayo akong dughan.. HELP!
    Author, is this recently happening?? Or is this really true???!! Please answer!!

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    1. from part 1, I've said that it happened two years ago and if you were keen on the details then you can say that they are recent bai, and yes, sadly it's all true
      -author

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  8. Nindot kaau ni nga istorya ba, excited kaau ko nagsunod ani. Tanang releasyon dili gyud dali, kinahanglan jud nga makigbisog ka para molampos kini. Hinaut nga magdayon sila hehe. Ram, sundi na!

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    1. thanks bai! and yes, hopefully, admin will post part 5 next week :)
      -author

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  9. If i were in jon's shoes, i would probably do the same. Sakit pero mosabot lang unta kay unsaon nga daghan mn jod mo yam id. I like how the story is written, detailed and will evoke emotions of readers.

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  10. Fudge. I was so happy for the update at first, squealing like crazy that this (fuckin awesome) story was updated at last, but then, as I gradually read the last parts, I felt like my heart (or scientifically, my hypothalamus) was being torn apart. My God, this keeps getting better. I actually cried, even though I've only shed a couple of tears, because it was really heartfelt. TBH, THIS IS THE BEST I'VE READ SO FAR. And btw, can't stop listening to Your Song. Thanks for responding to my question about that. Haha, so again, kudos, Sir Author! :)))

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    Replies
    1. thanks a lot bai! comments like this actually take a little of the pain away hahaha :)
      -author

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  11. WTF my lengthy comment didn't go through?? FUCK THIS GOOGLE COMMENT SYSTEM UGGGHH

    Anyway, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan I don't know if i can totally mirror the hyperbolic comment i posted a few mins ago but this chapter was soooooooooo hurting. Like wow, we all reckoned that this chapter's gonna be more dramatic than the previous but I DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE THIS DRAMATIC. Like duuuddde, you actually caught the douchebag saving his own ass from the homo convo? That fucking hurts, bai. I totally feel your pain like wow. damn, if i were you, i prolly punched him in the face and kneed his balls so hard (just kidding).

    And the ending. Fuck. THAT MADE ME GASP SO LOUD. DUDE. DDUUUUUUDDEEE REALLY. Damn you, now i'm crying. T^T

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    1. haha thanks bai and yeah, that's exactly what I felt during that time. I was even amazed at myself for having control over my emotions (I'm bad at controlling my anger you see but I don't have anger issues though hahaha) sorry for making you cry :(
      -author

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    2. Wait, you don't have classes later? Hahahahah! You're still up omg.

      No, it's okay. I just didn't expect the leaving part at the end like whuuuut oh no.

      But seriously, if i were in your shoes, i'll prolly just leave the premises and not give him the chance to explain himself. I'm just like that towards love. If I feel defeated, I wont even try to redeem myself and win back the battle i just lost (im not gonna make bugbog Jon bc love hahahaha)

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    3. no, and tomorrow too. classes resume on wednesday hahaha I'm like that too bai! I don't want to fight in a battle where I think I know what the outcome is going to be haha
      -author

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    4. for me I think, in-ana jud na bsta bi ang relasyon bai :) parehas sa akoa vd, pero nag depende .n jud na bai. naa bya tay diversity. like me, I let my boyfriend(who is d jud sha mailhan nga bi kay laki kayg lawas) nga makipag in-ana even sex sa lain kay we are exploring temples bai haha no offend sa mga comment ha pero open relarionship mi bai. if naa q sex oppurtunity mananghid rako niya if siya okay rasad nako. silingan rmn gd mi and parehag school ba so ma monitor jud nako. pero I know at the end of the day love namu ang usag usa hahaha .


      ps hi ko sa akoang bby ko. mehehehe ;3 ugma nasad ha:)
      *we dont do hard sex na, well we tried mga ika-10 then we stopped. kay nahadlok mis HIV so kutub nlng mis blowjob hehehe

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  12. Why was ram asking if fubu ba sila ni jon early part of this installmnt if wala pa mn diay nahitabu sa ila? Calling mr author, lapse in story telling.

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    1. It was implied in the previous post bai. I think the author said he won't give details about their intimate moments na lang diba?

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    2. before that dinner, things already happened between Jon and I bai hahaha and yes, the comment above is right :)
      -author

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  13. Shit bai been waiting for your updates for the past 2weeks. While I was reading this I ddnt notice tears were slowly coming out my eyes. Bsag wla ko kasuway ingana nga feeling pero naluoy jd ko nimo ram the part that he deined you. Kudos to you Ram! Next part please!

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    Replies
    1. thanks bai! at least you didn't have to experience that pain :) hopefully bai, part 5 will be posted na next week
      -author

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  14. Paita... Isa napud ka sturya na nagpasakit sa akong dughan. Wla man ko ka sisinati aning panghitabo pero nabati japon nako ang kasakit pinaagi sa imong pagsulat na nagapamatuod na hawud jud ka na manunulat. Hinaot mapost na ang part 5 next week kay cge jud kog hulat last week ani pero wala. Kudos bai Ram (y)

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    Replies
    1. I bled a little inside because of your bisaya bai but thanks a lot! :)
      -author

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    2. epistaxis bai? hihi... hmmm so do u find our indigenous Cebuano interesting? hihi... Sugbuanong pinulongan? =D

      Raaaaaaaaaaam, SAKIT au imo story, i sooooooooo REALLY wish u be blessed with a much more romantic love story. I soooo hope it too soon, n that guy must be somewhere out there.

      You DESERVE happiness Ram...

      Pwede nka mag press con? SIKAT na au ka baaaa. hahaha. As in. Ram when u find ur mr.someone nan jud na, n u r now in d making of a very promising LOVE STORY. i-share intawon sa amo RAM. U inspired us a lot sooooo much. GOD BLESS YOU. We need more people like u, especially sa mga closeted dra, juz like me, hahaha

      U're just the best. I soooo admire you.

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    3. exactly bai! hahahaha wow thanks a lot bai! :)
      -author

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  15. Ba I can't wait for the part 5.I've been waiting for your updates too.Every now and then ko sige refresh sa site hehe.I feel you Bai.Pero naa pod baya tay life lessons makuha sa ingon ani na situations.I am one of your avid fans Bai since Part 1.Gina print screen nako imong post then saved it in my phone bai kay lami siya basahon.Feel the pain Bai until it hurts no more,What’s done is done. What’s gone is gone. One of life’s lesson is always moving on. It’s okay to look back and think of fond memories but keep moving forward.In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.

    -Shoti

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    1. thanks a lot bai! and yes I agree, we should dwell too much in the past bai but just because we're moving forward doesn't mean nga we are completely forgetting about it; it's a part of us and we should use it to better our present and future :)
      -author

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    2. Bai,tungod sa imong reply lipay na kaayo ko.Yes,we should not dwell in the past ,keep moving forward Bai.You're perfect love story will surely come at the perfect place and time.So,from the time being,hang in there and life goes on.Salamat sa pagbasa akong comment Bai.

      -Shoti

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  16. Sus bai tungod ani nga story nag kaihusa ang mga Cebuano/Bisaya oi. Hahaha party nlng ta oi LIV ta na? HAHAHA

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    1. grabe sad bai haha when I go to LIV bai, mostly older people man ang naa there bai oy so di kaayo ko didto bai
      -author

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  17. Karelate ko nimo ram..pero kasabot pud ko sa gipangbuhat ni jon..give him time...hahaizt, lisoda jud ing ani

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  18. hi! pwede po ba author sa comment niyo na lang po ilagay ang chapter 5^^ i really cant wait... ayoko na maghintay sa susunod na linggo hehehe^^


    PEN10

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  19. Nice story... And i can realte.. Grad pud ko ug med.. Pero sa iloilo lang,,.

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  20. First part: Kilig much.
    Nung medyo gumitna: Aww
    This is painfull.
    Last part: I am crying like a girl who losts her mom at the grocery.
    Raaaam! Grabe! This is so intense. I can feel all the emotions. Love, Pain, hurt, betreyal, agony. Lahat na. God! My heart is pounding so damn hard lalo na dun sa last part.
    And truth to be told. I even share this story of yours to my girl friends and I let them read this. And they keep on calling me and sabay kami nagdra-drama. Lol
    Looking forward for the next Chap. Will buy more tissue. I am expecting so much more from this story. Alam ko iiyak nanaman ako. Hahaha
    Ram. God Bless you. :-)

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    Replies
    1. haha thanks bai! I never knew our story could impact people like this :)
      -author

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    2. Hindi lang kami basta na-move by this. Nor the impact. This story is now engraved in our Hearts. ^_^

      Delete
  21. How i wish gabasa pud si Ram diri nya mag-comment pud sya haha...

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    Replies
    1. **si Jon diay, sorry sayop. :)

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  22. So everytime I see two good-looking students wearing all white uniforms, I'm thinking those are the two of you. LOL

    And Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad, taya this one ui. Reading this part, you made me feel that most painful feeling ever that I felt quite some time ago. Gi ahak. Haha. sakita ui. LOL. That situation when your heart's throbbing so fast and about to burst then it seems like crying is the only way to ease it and one cry isn't enough. waaaaaaah. -__-''

    BTW, you're a good story teller bai. Nabati gyud nako ang kasakit. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. maybe it was us bai... haha I'm kidding. and thanks a lot bai! :D
      -author

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  23. Love this. Hahaha too much. Yeah, too much. Thanks Ram.

    -Gameboy

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    Replies
    1. thanks bai! and it's my pleasure to tell you guys my story :)
      -author

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  24. I was happy because the update already came out but the middle to the last part is so painful. I really feel you bai.. Gahd! emotions everywhere. :(

    P.S. you're a good storyteller bai. hope to me you when I get back to cebu, :)

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    Replies
    1. thanks a lot bai! :)
      -author

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  25. Fck napaiyak ako dun.... naalala ko 2loy ung gantong ngyari sa akin hayz.. anyway ok lng yan kaya mo yan! :)

    *cant wait for the nxt chapter*

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    Replies
    1. thanks bai! all will be well :)
      -author

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  26. Sa ika upat na higayon .. Imoha napod gipahinam hinam ang mga mangbabasa.. Samoka baI oi perti Dako kaayog sagpa sa akoa .. Makapaikag na sugilanon naghinam hinam ko sa sunod na kapitulo!! Manunulat idol ika duha nko ni comment ..ikaw pa lang Jud naka pa comment nko dri ba sa kadghan nko nabasa dria mini nga estorya ni WOW Jud bai... Isubmit mmk bai. ツ♡♡♡✔✔✔★★★★★

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    Replies
    1. err bai, I don't understand half of what you just said but thanks anyway! hahaha
      -author

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  27. Great story... i smiled... i cried...

    cant wait for the next part...

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    Replies
    1. (Naa koi nkalimtan)

      And of cors gikilig ko...

      hopefully everything ends well for u both (sa story)...

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    2. thanks a lot bai! Part 5 has been submitted, so you tell me if Jon and I will end well :) hahaha
      -author

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  28. You gave me the best kilig ani unya nabawi nuon sa end. I felt guilty. I didnt think it hurt like ds when i left my ex when i had to go back to my own sarah. And i wanna send a msg to my ex now saying how sorry i AM to cause so mucch hurt.

    I hate you ram. In a good way. :(

    -aj

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  29. "I love the way you love but I hate the way, I'm suppose to love you back"...reading this while Miss You Love by Silverchair playing in the background, not sure the music really connects but it makes me more emotional...that sucks bai, my heart is hypothetically bleeding...

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    Replies
    1. thanks bai! don't bleed for me bai, I'm okay. I'll be okay :)
      -author

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    2. I know you will be okay, just like me, felt a similar pain more or less before...
      Considering that the events occurred recently (and to write your story) just shows how strong your character is.It's painful yes, but that's one of the things that makes life, life. Cheers Bai!

      Delete
  30. hi ram i know sakit giod kaayo na. piro basin dile ĺng giod mu perfect match.. may be his protecting him self, maybe hiding you but but feel nako his still love you so much. pero pero nalang kay wala man pd mikibaw sa alibay ni ..... basin diay naa siyay valid reason. pero kung ako palang ang naa sitwasyon nimu gibarang nato nako siya.... joke...hahaha

    thank you for your story RAM...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. bad man na ang barang bai! hahaha my pleasure :)
      -author

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  31. Got up very early with nothing to do nakahimdum ko nagpaabot man diay ko ani nga story maayo nlng naa nay sumpay.. atay ani have to wait napud for another week or two...

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  32. Yay sakita... ngana gyud nang kinabuhi bai. Sabagay bata paman pud ka ug kung kamo gyud awww c destiny nalay mangitag paagi ana pero ug dili muabot rana sa saktong panahon... paabot kos last part bai writer...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. sakit gyud bai, mao sad maghuwat gyud ta because in time...
      -author

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    2. Bai I feel you bai... mao gyud na bai basta attached kaayo ka sa taw lisod gyud e let go bai. Are you ok na bai? Hope your ok na para happy

      Delete
  33. your story has the most comments bai! maybe it's because of the zoo we all feel inside our stomachs and apparently this week ngurag gipusil tanan animals bai, brings back so many memories.. and we're still young, you could make another story for us soon hahahah

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  34. Ram, alam mo naman yung sitwasyon niyo diba? Alam mong tago kayo. Meaning to say, sa mata ng lahat maliban sa inyong dalawa, WALANG KAYO. Kaya natural lang na ideny ni Jon kung anong meron kayo. Alam ko hindi maganda yung sinabi ni Jon pero try to understand na ginawa niya yun para hndi kayo mahalata. Gusto niya maging manly tignan diba. Pero opinion ko lang naman to and I respect you and your decision. Anyway, I cant wait for the fifth part :) -Luka

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  35. Bottomline, nag sideline si Jon. It's OK to deny Ram when Sarah asked. It's even OK to deny it in front of RAM. He needs to protect their relationship, it going the extra saying it's too gay to give out friendships is perfectly understandable. What's foul is, Jon flirted with her to a point that they'd do it.

    Or was it still part of the cover-up? Was Jon too lame to gave-in to lustful desires or was he too wise to think he needs to overdo the cover-up? A jerk or a smart ass...

    Abangan sa Part 5!

    PS: Jon, kung nababasa mo to, latsibay mo parts! Hahaha

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  36. Latsing nga auto-correct...

    He needs to protect their relationship, he needs to protect Ram to a point of going the extra mile saying it's too gay to give out friendship rings....

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  37. After the story of "BreakShot" , eto nanaman ang isang great writer. Kuhang kuha mo puso ng readers, and to think na nangyare talga 'to. Youre fucking great bro! Hopibg fir tge next chapter! Youre awesome writer, as in awesome! :)
    -Isaiah

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  38. Thumbs up!! :) waiting patiently for the next episode to be published...

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  39. Sana magkabalikan kayo...exited na q mabasa ang next part...ganda ng story nyo!!more power sayo. :)

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  40. Ram, this is a nice story. Eto lang pinaka inaabangan ko dito. Haha..
    Sana balang araw maging kaibigan kita, para may mapag kwentuhan ako ng mga bagay tulad ng ganito. Haha.. Malay mo pag PGI ka na samin ka marotate hehe..
    Thanks for the update sarap basahin. :) excited na ko sa susunod.

    -jan

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  41. SHIT! this is a certified heart-breaker!! im also from cebu bai. discreet, RN by profession and pursuing medschool now. hehehe. i can feel you bai. i was the miserable, downtrodden person that i once were. years and years of reading stories from this site haven't really gotten me to actually post a comment. but, yours was different. i felt that i really have to. im just dumbfounded and superbly impressed with your story, Ram. this is like the only story that makes me want to check this site every single day for updates. hehehe. anyway, im looking forward to meeting you personally. i hope you can spare some time. heheh.

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  42. Nice jud keu siya ahy. Bahalag sakit pro maka inspired jud cya. K rna uie kaya ra lage na.


    -Se-In-Yo

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  43. author.. u'r f*ckin' awesome and he's f*ckin' awesome. u both are f*ckin' awesome together. but f*ckin' life is so f*ckin' good in f*ckin' up ur relationship. i f*ckin' hate f*ckin' Disney.

    anyway, naa lang koy question..nganu wa man kai uyab nga girl? u should've took one para fair. xD just kidding..

    u know ur situation is very very very complicated. u should've prepared for the worst case scenario. it won't hurt much if u did not expect for anything more. but no one can blame u. what people tend to believe is that whatever the heart speaks is right. but the truth is we gay people possess limited rights with respect to the demands of our society. and u well know that..

    well, kudos author! u literally took this site waaaay to the next level with ur excellent narration and delicious glamour. keep it up! hope u'll find ur peace soon.

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  44. Bai Ram, idol na gyud tika! Hahaha kinsa may nagpauso ang Frienzone ohy?!


    BTW, dghan ug taga CEBU dah! Hahaha
    - AONO

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    Replies
    1. I ALSO LOVE YOUR GRAMMAR! :)
      Grammar nazi ko kuya hahahaha
      As expected jud.

      -AONO

      Delete
  45. Am I the only one who thinks that fate and God's work entwined and made Ram experience all these things in behalf of the gay and bi individuals because God knows nobody can do the writing better other than Ram? I mean, seriously, this man deserves a cookie!( haha JK) this man deserves an award for writing one of the best gay love stories this year. It's not your typical kwentong malibog post. It's not just all about sex. You can really feel the emotions which makes it utterly compelling and interesting. Good Work Ram! :D

    -A solid fan here ! Mayta'g makakita ko nimu ue, hahaha wla lang, to feed my curiosity kung unsa'y nawng sa Author :D

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  46. Shoot.... how i love the story jud... makahilak

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