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Sunday, September 21, 2014

Kilabot ng Davao University

By: LA

Hi! Just call me Coco. Don't get me wrong, I don't look like Coco Martin, kakulay lang po. Pero I'm a couple of inches taller than him. I will not give a detailed stats about my being since story namin ng ex-boardmate ko ang isi-share ko. Pero ma-appeal din naman ako. Ako yung tipo na magugustohan ng mga girls sa kulay ko, at ng mga tripper. Hindi ako ganun ka soldout sa mga gays, siguro they could smell me. Moving ahead, let's call the main character Gerald. At first glance mamalik-mata kang si Gerald Anderson sya - kung magbababad ang actor sa kakaligo sa beach ng buong araw. I mean tisoyin sya na hindi gaano, siguro a couple of inches shorter than Gerald, the actor. Fafable, that's one word that best describes him. Sya yung tipong pinapangarap ng mga babae na susundo sa kanila after class or work, tapos ipagmayabang habang nagso-stroll-stroll.

Matagal na kaming magkakilala ni Gerald. Classmates kami from first year hanggang fourth year high school sa province namin. We were kinda popular back then since we belonged to a special class, kung saan dun pinag-isa ang mga "torians" at "honorables" from different elementary schools provincewide. Back then wala pang halatang gays sa klase namin, siguro ako na ang pinakamalamya, pero I was quick pa rin naman somehow. Wala akong gaanong fond memories kay Gerald since iba ang trip nya nung high school. Mas close ako sa pinsan nyang si Ren, who is equally gwapo din. Although magkasama kaming tatlo (with some other 2 classmates pa) sa Math Olympiad team. Hindi rin ako masyadong malisyoso at that time kasi nga busy sa studies. Pero there was once incident nung may out of town field trip kami, nagkaroon ng mechanical issue ang zipper ng pantalon ni Gerald, ayaw magsara. Biniro sya ng girl classmate namin na tulungan syang isara pero tumanggi si Gerald, kasi daw babae. Pero bumulong sya sa akin na wala daw syang brief kasi isa lang dala nya at nabasa nung naligo kami. So, ako ang pinakiusapan nyang magtaas ng zipper nya. Pumunta kami sa CR para ayusin at isara ang zipper nya.
I took advantage din kunwari I had to get a finger to the inside of his jeans. Wala lang sa kanya. Hanggang sa pasadya kong ni-rub ang ulo ng titi nya. Nagreklamo sya kasi daw na-arouse daw sya. Nang pareho naming naramdaman nya tumitigas na titi nya, pinatigil na nya ako. Sabi nya hayaan na lang daw bukas ang zipper nya basta ako daw katabi nya hanggang sa makauwi kami. Tulungan ko raw sya na bantayan wag dumungaw si junior nya. So hayun, kami na magkatabi sa bus. Nanghinayang din ako kasi hndi ko nakita lahat, hindi ako sure if makapal na bolbol nya. Naimagine ko rin ang titi ni Ren kasi madalas ko yung makita kasi feeling close sa akin yun, hindi nahihiyang umihi kahit andun ako. That time may kakapalan na ang bolbol ni Ren at malaki ang titi nito. So yung lang ang medyo erotic experience ko with the cousins, at least that time.

Days went on na busy kami sa kanya-kanyang projects. May mga iba-iba na rin kaming set of closest friends. Nung fourth year na kami, we were planning on college. Most of us preferred UP Dilliman, ako naman partly UPLB to take up a course in agriculture sana. Pero nothing was concrete. Dumating ang graduation namin - first honorable mention si Gerald, fifth naman si Ren. Samantalang ako, I failed to make it to the cut, I was ranked twelfth. But that was no big deal sa amin. Nung summer nun, we were always together, pumupunta kahit saan. Still nothing was definite where to go to college. Pasado na kami sa entrance exams ng mga sikat na universities dito sa bansa. Mga mid of May, pinag-enroll ako ng mama ko sa isang sikat (or pinakasikat) na school sa Davao. Hindi ko na sasabihin anong course. We also looked for an affordable yeat cozy place to stay. Ayoko sana may kasama pero halos punuan na mga rooms for rent that time. There was this unit na gusto ko kaso may nauna na. Nalungkot ako pero sabi ng may ari good for 2 daw yun pero sa susunod na linggo pa lilipat ang nakauna, freshman din. I was hoping na sana tahamik na tao sya kasi ayoko ng maingay. We got the place and my mom left me there. At first parang gusto kong sumama kay mama pabalik sa province namin pero I had to stay composed, kunwari I was brave enough. Pero God knows how I was trying to hold back my tears.

Umalis na si mama after lunch nung araw na hinatid nya ako. Ewan ko basta naiyak ako when I was all alone sa room hanggang sa makatulog ako. Nagising ako ng kumatok ang landlady namin. Laking gulat ko sa nakita kong kasama nya - si Gerald! Parang pinaghalong saya at asiwa na ewan ang naramdaman ko nun. And I think ganun din naramdaman nya. It did not take long for him to unpack at mag ayos ng gamit nya. Pareho kaming naidlip. Halos sabay din kaming nagising. Moments of silence... "Kain tayo?," tanong ni Gerald. Umuo naman ako. Umuwi rin kami pagkatapos at natulog. "Lights on or lights of? Ayoko kasi ng maliwanag," pahayag nya. "Suit yourself, makakatulog ako basta walang maingay," medyo sarcastic kong sagot. "Ang taray mo," kantyaw nya sabay tawa. Pero bago ako tuluyang nakatulog, naalala ko yung time na inayos ko zipper ng pants nya. Part of me was thinking chance ko na yun, the good side of me kept insisting it was immoral at baka ma-eskandalo pa ako if papalag sya. So hayun I was trying to hold back lust.

Maaga kaming lumipat sa apartment unit, mga a week ahead sa formal start of classes. So the first few days, we completed our school supplies. Sabay din kaming namili ng mga pansariling gamit namin. Hanggang sa naubusan na kami ng gagawin. Sa akin OK lang naman, pwede naman akong matulog na lang. Pero si Gerald, since athletic sya, madali syang mabagot. Minsan niyaya nya akong maghanap ng basketball court. So nakilaro din kami sa mga hindi namin kakilala, mababait din naman sila. I was not really good at basketball but I can be a team player. Kina-reer ko na din yun kasi I was thinking I can outgrow (or at least supress) my homosexual tendencies. Nakapaglaro pa kami ng mga tatlong araw. Biro nga ng mga tambay "oh andito na si Richard Gomez at Aga Muhlach". Ako daw si Richard kasi moreno at mas matangkad, si Gerald naman si Aga kasi mestisohin. Hanggang nangyari na umulan buong araw. Bagot na bagot na si Gerald, walang activity na magawa. I suggested mag mall sya pero naisip din nya na baka mas lalo pang lumakas ang ulan at hindi na sya makauwi. Ako naman, since hobby ko naman matulog, eh natulog ako.

Mahimbing ang tulog ko sa lamig ng hangin. Naalimpungatan ko nalang may tumabi sa akin, mga 3PM nun. "Anong ginagawa mo?," tanong ko. "Tumatabi sa'yo. Ang ginaw kasi, nakaka-horny," sagot nya sabay tagilid, dinidiin nya harapan nya sa tagiliran ko. Dama ko ang katigasan ng titi nya. Pareho kaming naka shorts nung time na yun. I admit nahorny din ako. Yung ayos pala ng room namin parang naka letter L yung mga beds namin. So dun sya sa bed ko, I was watching his empty bed, napangiti ako. Could this be it?! He kept rubbing his hardess sa tagiliran ko. Hindi ko na rin napigil at napakambya ako sa sarili ko. "Ri-rape-pin kita!," biro nya sabay patong sa akin. Dama ko ang katawan nya, it felt good kahit medyo feeling ko nadaganan ako ng pader sa lapad ng frame nya. Pilit nyang kinikiskis titi nya sa titi ko, pero nasa loob pa ang mga yung ng shorts namin. Napansin ko na medyo naka-diagonal position ang titi nya. "Pwede i-rearrange mo titi mo para swak na swak?," pakiusap ko. "Ikaw bahala," sagot nya and he lifted his body a little bit. So inayos ko, pinisil ko ng bahagya, grabe super tigas talaga. Pumatong na sya ulit at nagpatuloy sa pagkiskis. At one point gusto ko ng labasan pero pinigil ko. Feeling ko nadala na ako. I followed my instincts and they led my hands to the waistband of his shorts. Akma ko na sanang ipasok ang kamay ko sa loob ng shorts ni Gerald pero pinigil nya ako. I attempted again pero mahigpit ang pagkahawak nya sa kamay ko at inilayo sa harapan nya. Pagkatapos tumayo sya at niyaya akong mag-dinner. Sumunod naman ako. Pero aaminin ko medyo napahiya ako. Wala kaming imikan habang kumakain. Parang nawalan ako ng gana kaya nauna na ako at pumanhik sa kwarto.  

Nung nasa silid na ako, nagkunwari akong tulog. Napansin ko ring sumunod si Gerald at nahiga sa bed nya. Wala pa rin kaming imikan. Hanggang bandang 10PM nag brown out, ang dilim. "Naku, sabi nung isang boarder eh may nagmumulto daw dito," pananakot nya. "Weee?! Hindi ako takot sa multo," sagot ko. Randam ko ang lamig ng hangin mula sa bintana, sliding window yun na binuksan namin kasi may screen naman. Lalo pang lumakas ang ulan. Nakatulog na ako. Until mga 1AM may tumabi na naman sa akin, I knew it was him. "Ano na naman?!," medyo diniinan ko. "Dito ako matutulog sa bed mo," pa-cute nyang sabi, parang pre-school kid. Tumagilid ako patalikod sa kanya., hindi ko sya kinibo. Kinuha nya kamay ko and he was guiding it where to go. This time ako naman ang pakipot, nagpumiglas ako. Pero dahil mas malakas si Gerald sa akin, nagtagumpay sya. I was not expecting too much kasi baka mapahiya na naman ako. Akala ko ipapatong nya lang sa ibabaw ng harapan nya. Pero laking gulat ko ng maramdaman kong titi na nya pala ang nasa palad ko, nakababa na pala shorts nya. Hindi ako nakagalaw for a split second. "Hayan na, di ba matagal mo ng pangarap mahawakan yan?," malambing ngunit nanunukso nyang sabi. Ninamnam ko ang sandaling iyon. I felt his dick head, i rubbed it with my thumb, napaungol sya. I held the body of his penis, hard as steel. I also notice makapal na din bolbol nya, we were both 17 at that time. "Maliit ba?," tanong nya. "Para ngang malaki eh. Hayaan mo, tutubo pa yan hanggang 22 years old ka, so titingnan ko yan kapag mag-22 ka na," biniro ko sya. Tantya ko 4.5-5 inches yung kanya that time. Parang ayaw kong matapos ang mga oras na yun hawak ang titi nya, it was unbelievable na nangyayari yun. "Jakolin mo ako," pabulong nyang utos. At yun ang ginawa ko. Pero dahil sa amazement ko na makahawak ng titi ng ibang tao, madalas hinahagod ko lang ito para i-memorize ang shape. Para hindi sya mawala sa momentum, sya na ang nagtuloy magjakol. Hindi ko alam kung nilabasan na sya kasi madilim, basta pansin ko tumigil sya at nag-ayos. "Nilabasan ka na?," tanong ko. "Oo," maikli nyang tugon. "Hindi ako naniniwala. Patingin nga?," usisa ko. Pinigilan nya ang kamay ko pero nagpumilit ako at nahawakan ko ang malambot na nyang titi. Basa yun, inamoy ko tamod nga. At yung ang first time na sobra talaga akong nahorny. Nilaro ko ang malambot na nyang titi habang nagjajakol ako gamit ang isang kamay. I woke up the next day na parang I just had the best dream of my life.

Wala na naman kaming imikan. Pero this time hindi na ako nahihiya. At bahala na magalit sya basta something happened and I liked it. Start of school na at naging busy na naman kami, kanya-kanyang diskarte sa academics. Magkaiba kami ng course, yung kanya more on a manly profession pag nakatapos (kayo na ang bahalang humula). Nagkaroon agad ng long holiday, bsta dalawang magkasunod na holiday nun, plus Saturday at Sunday. One Friday night, "Ayaw mong lumabas," tanong ni Gerald. "Ayoko, matutulog na lang ako," rason ko. "Tamad!," panunukso nya. After dinner, nag-ayos na ako para matulog. "Ikaw ng bahala pumatay sa ilaw ha?," utos ko sa kanya at nahiga na ako. Pero aaminin kong umaasa ako na maulit muli. At nangyari nga ang pinagarap ko. Tumabi na naman sya sa akin. Wala kaming imikan hanggang sa kinuha nya ang kamay ko at ipanatong sa ibabaw ng shorts nya. Nasa labas lang ng shorts nya ang kamay ko. Ramdam ko kumikislot ang titi nya at matigas na matigas na ito. Ipinasok ko ang kamay ko sa loob ng shorts nya, wala syang reaction. Hinimas-himas ko ang titi nya, sarap talaga. Tumagilid sya paharap sa akin, gusto akong halikan pero umiwas ako. "Ayaw mo ba?," parang nagtatampo nyang tanong. "Hindi ko alam papano eh, toothbrush muna tayo," tugon ko. Hayun tumayo muna kami at nag toothbrush. It then seemed we were each other's first (in terms of kissing on the lips). This time, hubad na kami pareho. Nag-espadahan mga titi namin. Pero lights off pa rin, kasi awkward daw kapag maliwanag. Kissing, stroking, caressing, petting, kiskisan ng titi, jakulan, yun ginawa namin hanggang naabot namin ang "tagumpay"(hahaha). It felt sooo good, like first night ng mag-asawa.

Kinabukasan, hindi na naman kami gaanong nag-iimikan. Pero gets ko na yun. Isa na lang ang kulang, ang makita ko ang kabuoan ng katawan nya. Kasi kahit may nangyari na sa amin, puro yun lights off. One time wala akong klase sa isang subject ko before lunch break. So since mahaba ang break time, nagpasya akong umuwi ng boarding house para umidlip. Papatulog na sana ako nung biglang nag-slam ang door, si Gerald pala, wala ding klase. Naghubad sya ng shirt nya, parang nanunukso. Pilit ko syang iniiwasan. Humiga ako at tumagilid paharap sa wall. Tumabi sya sa akin. "Ipapakita ko sa'yo ang titi ko, sa isang kundisyon," pahayag nya. "Ano naman?," curious ako. "Chupain mo ako!," panunukso nya sabay kindat. Nagdadalawang-isip ako. Kung chuchupain ko sya, baka maging ganap na akong bakla. Kung tatanggi ako, sayang ang chance na makita ko titi nya. So ginawa ko nga, chinupa ko sya. At first I felt forced pero pilit kong ninamnam ang sandaling yun. Pero ng makita ko ang facial reaction nya, it was priceless. Mga 5" nga yung titi nya nun, pogi tingnan parang sa amerkano porn magazines kasi medyo tisoy si Gerald, may pinoy twist nga lang sa style ng pagkatuli at sa tigas nito. May bolbol din sya, unlike sa porn mags na mostly shaved. Pero para akong mabilaokan, siguro dahil first time ko. Hanggang may na feel akong parang isang malakas na pitik or pintig at hayun, sumabog sa loob ng bibig ko. Sa pagkabigla ko, nalunok ko lahat, ang dami. Nagulat din sya. Nagkatinginan kami, awkward na naman. "Ba't hindi ka nag-abiso na lalabasan ka na?," kunyari galit ako. "Sorry, hindi ko napigilan basta nalang nangyari," pagpapaliwanag nya. Nag-galit-galitan ako pero sa totoo, naku-cute-tan ako sa pagka-guilty nya. Simula na yun ng mas madalas pang tagpo. We did quickies, mas exciting. Hanggang sa kabisado ko na ang body mechanics nya, kung lalabasan na ba sya.

First year, first sem break. It went well. Umuwi kami sa province namin, kanya-kanyang lakaran with each set of friends. Pero nagsabi sya na sabay na daw kami pabalik sa city at mag-enroll. We just agreed to meet on a specific date & time sa bus terminal. I was finishing up packing my things ng may kumatok sa gate, si Gerald pala. "Oh, anong ginagawa mo dito? Hindi pa naman ako late ah," tanong ko habang pinapatuloy ko sya. "Mag-isa ka yata? Nasan sina Tito, Tita at kapatid mo?," usisa nya. "Ako lang mag-isa," tugon ko. Bigla nya na lang sinara ang pinto sa sala at niyakap nya ako bigla. Tinitigan nya ako, parang nangunusap ang mga mata nya. I just assumed what it was. Kinapa ko ang harapan nya, tama ako matigas na ito. Lumuhod ako sa harapan nya, binuksan ko ang zipper at binaba ang pantas at brief nya hanggang sa may tuhod. I gave him the best blow job, kita ko sa mukha nya ang satisfaction. This time, he knows the rythm na kung kelan sya lalabasan, pati ako alam ko ang warning shot nya! We fixed ourselves. Inside the bus, napansin kung medyo naging sweet sya. I had fun, until nakarating kami sa boarding house namin. At naging routine na rin namin ang pagpaparaos namin sa isa't isa.

Summer vacation, pareho kaming nasa province namin. Madalas kaming nag-oorganize ng get together amongst classmates. Madalas kasali ako sa nagpi-prepare ng food. Isa sa kasama ko dun si Jackie. Napansin kong intersado iyon kay Gerald. Tinatanong nya if nagwo-work out ba si Gerald kasi ang ganda ng katawan. Sinagot ko naman na kasi nagbabasketball ito. Ang dami nyang tanong at lahat ng sagot ko about Gerald, it seemed amaze na amaze sya. Naaaliw akong tingnan sya, kasi parang kinikilig. That time I knew may gusto si Jackie kay Gerald. Pero parang iba naman ang gusto ni Gerald. Sa beach ang final destination namin. On our way, sakay kami sa likod ng isuzu pick up ng isa naming classmate. Panay pa-cute si Jackie kay Gerald pero deadma lang ang mokong. That time medyo humaba na nang konti ang hair ko at napagkatuwaan ng mga girl classmates namin na lagyan ng hairclip sa both hairlines, malapit sa dulo ng eyebrows. Nakatayo ako nun, salubong ko ang hangin habang tumatakbo ang sasakyan nang biglang lumapit si Gerald. "Pretty ka ngayon," mahina nyang sabi sabay kindat. Inirapan ko lang sya, banta yun para hindi nya ulitin baka may makarinig. Pero deep within, kinilig ako ng slight. Hayun, overnight event ang peg, we drank all night long even if technically some of us were still minors. Ganun pa rin kami ni Gerald, walang kibuan like before. And it was better for both of us, so no one would suspect something was going on. Pero nung pauwi na kami, bigla akong sinabihan ni Gerald na magbi-beach daw kami, na kami lang. I did not take it seriously.

Isang hapon nagisising ako sa busina ng motorsiklo. Si Gerald na naka pang-beach outfit na. Magjoyride daw kami, pinagpaalam nya ako sa family ko. Nasa beach na kami, we went swimming talaga. Umarkila kami ng salbabida, nagpalaut kami. Gerald is a good swimmer, ako naman basic lang ang alam ko. Ewan ko pero naging horny ako. Habang magkatapat kami sa salbabida, sinisipa ko ng marahan ang harapan ni Gerald. Malambot pa titi nya nun hanggang tumigas. Tinitigan nya ako. But I continued, I was teasing him. Umahon kami and we looked for a place to wank off our body heat. Where we were ay parang isolated beachfront property. May isang parang abandoned rest house. Maganda ito, bungalow type, sayang at hindi na-maintain. We checked and walang lock ang gate. I tried calling for anyone, kunwari hihingi ako ng tubig if may sasagot, pero walang tao. We also found out naka-lock ang main at back door. May munting kubo separate sa big house, bukas yun. CR at bathroom pala, functional kasi may tubig pa ang gripo at shower. Malinis din. I looked into Gerald's eyes, parang nangungusap na nag-iinit. Sinunggaban ko sya, kissed him so hard at gumanti sya harder. Inalis ko shirt nya, I licked his neck down to his nipples. Kakaiba ang feeling nun kasi galing kami sa dagat, maalat-alat pa ang katawan ni Gerald. Binaba ko na shorts at briefs nya. Naghuhumindig sa katigasan ang alaga nya. I licked the dick head first, I only stopped when I heard him moan. Nilasap ko ang katawan ng titi nya, masarap, maalat-alat dahil sa tubig dagat. Then I sucked him gently. When I felt nagreact yung body nya, I did it harder until malabasan sya. At dahil nahorny na rin ako, nagjakol ako habang hawak ko ang lumalambot na nyang junior. Pawisan kami pareho, then we decided to go out. Laking gulat namin na merong isang mama na nagjakol sa pintoan. Sabi nya pinanood nya daw kami. At first takot ang nadarama ko, umalis nalang kami at binilisan ang hakbang palabas ng property na yun. And we were analyzing if anyone knew us at that very instant. But Gerald reassured me na malayong meron kasi 2 towns away yun sa amin at parang yung mama lang ang nandun. We were almost certain naman wala itong video cam or something, basing sa itsura nito.

Nagpatuloy kami sa college life namin, we were both doing well in our chosen courses. As we were wrapping up our teen years, we also became experimental. One time Gerald suggested to try on that infamous 69 position. It was my first time someone sucked my dick. At first it was strange but I got used to it. So ganun ang peg namin, chupaan, 69, jakulan... Napansin ko rin na mas mataas ang libido ni Gerald kesa sa akin. Minsan wala ako sa mood. Pero sya in heat. Sabi nya tabihan ko lang daw sya at i-kiss sya sa lips from time to time habang magjajakol sya. Pero hindi mo iisipin na malibog si Gerald. Sa school maraming nagkakagusto sa kanya. Maraming nagsasabing sya ang KILABOT NG UNIVERSITY. Yung pinaghalong astig na neat looking? Kasi yung iba sa sobrang polished or too metro, mapagkakamalan mo ng bading. Kung dati wala kaming imikan sa school, paminsan-minsan pumupunta sya sa deparment ko to check if may cancelled classses. Ang daming mga babaeng nagpapacute sa kanya. We started going out, whether dine out or movies. But we never got the chance to label what we had. Also we were never PDA. Our sexual fantasies leveled up. Dumating na ang kinatatakutan ko, ang ma-anal! Gusto daw gawin ni Gerald. We never learned how to do it. In fairness he was soooo sweet sa foreplay namin. We used Johnson's baby oil as lubricant. We did it dog-style, it was sooo painful. But that feeling where you know he was cumming inside of you, it's priceless. Hinayaan ko ang titi nya sa kaibuturan ng aking kweba hanggang sa lumambot ito.

For quite a while parang naging routine na namin ang maging intimate, pero we were never PDA (public display of affection). Halos araw-araw kaming nagpaparaos. We've tried as many positions we could. Pero hindi na muli nya ako pinasok, ayaw ko. Masakit, naiintindihan na rin naman nya at hindi naman sya mapilit. Para na talaga kaming magsyota, except we never had a courtship, no I LOVE YOUs. Hanggang umabot sa punto na naging possessive na si Gerald. Pinagseselosan nya sinumang mga lalaki na umaaligid sa akin. Ayoko ng ganun, so lumevel up pa ako sa pakikipagbarda. Pero I never had sex with anyone at that time pa, not even intimate. Pareho kaming nanamlay sa isa't isa. But ironically, we continued having sex. We were both busy sa school, sa iba't ibang gimik with other set of friends. Since I was the adventurer one, I would go out of towns/provinces. Sya naman, gumigimik, umiinom, nakikijam sa mga banda. Bihira na kaming magpang-abot sa boarding house namin. Kung magpang-abot man, wala kaming imikan. Pero minsan nagpapakiramdaman kami. Kapag may nararamdaman kong may tumabi sa akin, alam ko sya yun at alam ko kung anong ibig sabihin nun. Almost all the time kapag ginagawa nya yun, nahuhulaan ko na matigas na titi nya sa loob ng pants or shorts nya. Weird talaga kasi parang may something strain na ang relationship namin pero we could have sex so magnificently.

As we came of age, we realized one thing, too much familiarity breeds contempt. Niligawan ni Gerald ang isang pretty girl sa campus at naging sila. At dahil feeling ko may buhay na sya outside schooling, ako din dapat. Mas naging active ako sa outdoor activities. Bihira nalang talaga kami nagkikita. Umuuwi lang ako sa boarding house namin to change or to get something. Halos hindi na kami nagkikita. Hindi ko lang sure if ganun din sya, bihira umuwi sa unit namin. But once I get this peculiar feeling when I saw a panty sa bed nya, actually nakasuksok sa foam pero medyo naka-usli so I found out. Parang gusto kong magselos, pero para ring wala lang. I was kinda logical about what he had been doing and the fact we were never on. So on my part, thinking he did it, might as well do it. May niligawan din akong girl, napasagot ko. We had sex, I thought I did not know how but luckily I did it. It did not last long because the girl had so many failing subjects and had to leave the school. Pero most of the romantic gest I had showed were just for the sake. That was purely sex, it was fun, exciting. Pero aaminin ko, mas madaming tamod ang nilalabas ko if si Gerald kaniig ko. Parag that also triggered something in me. I had this cutie classmate na moreno din tulad ko, kamukha ni Jao Mapa. Let's call this cameo character Jeff, masasabi kong isa ring head turner. If si Gerald pansinin dahil star player, macho at matalino, si Jeff naman ay boy-next-door ang dating with those killer smile. I knew cute si Jeff pero I was not sexually attracted to him.

Nung last few semesters ko sa course ko, kumonti nalang kami sa class namin. At dahil usually group reporting, madalas ka-pair ko si Jeff. Sya na rin kasama ko sa mga lakad ko at gimik pati. Oo aaminin ko at first naku-cute-tan ako sa kanya but not enough for me to make any advances. Until one fateful day we had a group reporting and we were running out of time so we had to do overtime. May ka-grupo kaming babae na bawal sya gabihin, so she offered na sa kanila na kami gumawa ng report. We were five, three silang babae. Nung tulugan time na, hiniwalay kami ni Jeff, conservative kasi family ng host. So kami ni Jeff sa guest room, sa iisang bed! Madalas madali akong makatulog pero ewan ko this time ayaw akong dalawin ng antok. Parang nadedemonyo ako kay Jeff. I was trying very hard to sleep but to no avail. "Gising ka pa? Namamahay yata ako," pahayag ni Jeff. "Uhm, matulog ka na," kunwari antok na ako. " "Payakap na lang, lamig kasi ng aircon," pakiusap nya sabay yakap kaagad sa akin. Parang spooning position kami. I was trying to feel his crotch pero malayo yata. Feeling ko naman nakatulog na talaga ako. Nagising akong maramdaman ko ang gusto kong maramdaman, his erect penis on my behind, but still underneath our clothes. Parang dinidiin pa nya at kumikislot. Spooning position pa rin kami. "Oy, ano yan?!," pa-inosente kong tanong. "Hayaan mo na ako, ganito lang naman eh," lambing nya. At dahil nadala na rin ako, humarap ako sa kanya. Mas hinigpitan nya yakap nya sa akin. Nagkiskisan na mga titi namin, still underneath our clothes. Akma ko na sanang i-unbuckle ang belt nya ng kumatok na ang classmate namin na may-ari ng bahay, breakfast time na daw. Dun nagsimula ang magandang tinginan namin ni Jeff.

Patuloy ang ugnayan namin ni Jeff sa school. Hinahanap nya ako kapag hindi nya ako nakikita. I could sense more than plain friendship sa ikinikilos nya. And I had it concluded nung minsang pumunta sya sa boarding house ko isang gabi. "What brings you here?," usisa ko. "Yung report natin, remember," nakangisi nyang sagot. Parang iba ang pagka-intindi ko sa nakakaloko nyang ngiti. "Ang tagal pa ng deadline oy," rason ko. "Eh di nga ba, early bird catches the worm?," nangangatwiran ang mokong. Parang nakikita ko na ang mga kaganapan in the next few minutes. "Eh di nga rin ba, early worm gets eaten by the early bird?," pabalang kong sagot, pero sweetly delivered. Alam ko kung ano talaga ang pakay nya. I started reading our books and doing some write ups. Pero pansin ko parang lumulutang ang isip nya. Nahuhuli ko syang panakaw na tumitingin sa akin. Pansin kong humihukab sya, inaantok na daw sya at nahiga na sa bed ko. At that time hindi umuwi si Gerald. Tabi kaming natulog ni Jeff. Sanay akong patagilid matulog. Niyakap ako ulit ni Jeff, spooning position na naman, this time ramdam ko ang katigasan nya. Pero ever since I knew Jeff, hindi ko matantya gaano kalaki ang alaga nya. Mas naging pangahas sya this time. Habang yakap nya ako, ipinasok nya kamay nya sa shirt ko, he was squeezing my chest (or breasts if you may call it). Thinking I could continue kung anumang nabitin dati, humarap ako sa kanya. Patuloy sya sa ginagawa nya, parang he was trying to cup my breasts, eh wala naman akong boobs. Naka-shorts lang nun si Jeff. I found the waistband, had the buttons undone just to let it loose. I did the same to Jeff, hinagod at hinimas ko ang kanyang chest down sa pusod nya. I was supposed to caress that body part just right below the pusod pero nahagip na ng ulo ng titi nya, lumagpas sa waistband ng brief nya. Wala akong oras na sinayang, pinasok ko ang kamay ko sa loob, dinama ko ang katigasan nya. Ang laki at taba ng titi nya, parang lata ng sardinas. Akala ko kwentong kutsero lang ang ganun kalaking titi. Mas malaki ang titi ni Jeff kesa kay Gerald. I turned on the light kasi gusto kong makita ang hugis. Kakaiba din ang hugas, malinis tingnan, tayung-tayo. I was trying to follow yung marka ng tuli, sinipat kong mabuti. "Flawless yan kasi pokpok (traditional) style yang akin," paliwanag ni Jeff. I put off the lights and we continued caressing each other. Jeff initiated a soft kiss on the lips, I followed. Until namalayan ko we were both completely naked. His kiss was my second kiss yet it was so perfect, I could taste the sweetness and pleasure of sex. We explored our bodies. He sucked me gently, it felt good. Ganun pala ang tamang pagchupa. I applied to him what I had learned, chinupa ko rin sya ng todo. Magaling si Jeff sa foreplay at timing, sabay talaga kaming nilabasan. Hanggang dito na lang muna ang kwento ko about Jeff. I will try to write about our saga pag may time, next time.

Back to Gerald. Dahil puro major subjects na ang load namin, naging mas busy pa kami sa school at projects. Nagkaroon ako ng mahaba-habang time to stay sa boarding house. I looked around the four corners of our room, medyo malungkot na. Nag-ayos ako, pati yung parte sana ni Gerald. I took a shower and fixed myself before going to sleep. Bumukas ang pinto, si Gerald. Pareho kaming nabigla, awkward silence. Nahiga na ako. "Paki patay na lang sa ilaw if matutulog ka na rin o aalis ka," matamlay kong sabi sa kanya. Maya-maya lumapit si Gerald at humiga sa bed, katabi ko. Wala pa rin kaming imikan. Kinuha nya ang kamay ko at ipinatong sa ibabaw ng pantalon nya, ramdam ko ang katigasan ng titi nya sa loob. Inalis ko ang kamay ko, tumagilid ako patalikod sa kanya. Niyakap nya ako, akmang hahalikan pero umiwas pa rin ako. "What's wrong?," he started confronting me. "Wala, itigil na natin to, wala rin lang namang patutunguhan," paliwanag ko. "Is it Jeff? Kayo na ba? Akala mo hindi ko alam? Akala mo hindi ko kayo nakikita?," panunumbat nya. Hindi ko na sya sinagot, tumulo na lang luha ko. Umiyak na rin sya, na mas lalong nagpapa-guilty sa akin. Dun ko lang sya nakitang sobrang nasaktan. Hindi ko rin alam papano kami bumalik sa dati. We continued living together hanggang last semester namin sa college, no sex. Nalaman kong nagkahiwalay na sila ni campus crush girl. On graduation day, andun mga families namin. We pretended nothing was going on. We celebrated together in a fine dining restaurant, it was really worth spending lalo na sa family nya kasi he graduated with honors.

Luckily, Gerald and I got a job just a few weeks after graduation. Hindi na kami nagkita, hindi rin kami nagbigayan ng cell numbers. Pero if may nagtanong na common friend about him, I would pretend we're still in touch. Hanggang sa christmas vacation, umuwi ako sa province namin. Most of our high school classmates ay nakapagtapos at may trabaho na rin. So nag-organize ng get together, as usual over night. This time, since kumikita na kami, we were able to afford preparing gourmet dishes, syempre food committee pa rin ako. Naalis ko na sa isipan ko si Gerald. Naalala ko lang sya ng makita ko si Jackie, na may gusto kay Gerald. Natapos na ang dinner namin at nagsimula na akong magligpit nang biglang may dumating, naka motor. Hunky ang dating, naka-jacket. Pag-alis ng helmet, si Gerald! Ang pogi nya. Lumapit sya sa amin at binati ang lahat, pwera ako. Sa akin, OK lang, serves me right. Pero wala ako masyadong hinanakit. Inuman time na, harutan, nagbabalik-tanaw sa high school life. Tinutukso nila si Gerald at Jackie, nakitukso na rin ako pero pilit. Nagkumustahan ang lahat, nagpapalitan ng contact numbers. Kachika ko nun ang first crush ko, yung pinsan ni Gerald na si Ren, na mas gumwapo din. Lahat ginawa namin, videoke, card games, we came prepared para walang dull moment. At persistent ang grupo na i-pair up sina Gerald at Jackie. Deadma lang ako nang biglang tumunog ang cellphone ko. I read the message, isang kanta. I knew who sent it pero nagreply pa rin ako ng "hu u?" at sinabihan kong wrong sent sya. Nagpakilala syang si Gerald at hiniling na basahin ang sinend nya, yung song na The Past. It read the first part as: " I was wrong when i hurt you... But did you have to hurt me too... Did you think revenge will make it better?.. I don't care about the past... I just want our love to last...There's a way to bring us back together." Wow, tumagos sa kaibuturan ng aking puso ang song. Gusto kong mag-reply pero I did not know how to put words together that would not mislead him, or me expecting something. Inabisohan ni Gerald si Ren na sya na maghatid sa akin. Si Ren kasi ang sumundo sa akin.

Nung umangkas na ako kay Gerald, bumabalik sa ala-ala ko yung sexcapade namin sa abandoned beach rest house. Ang gwapo ng driver, sa isip ko. Gusto ko mag-initiate ng kalandian pero something is holding me back. I was thinking na patuloy nya pa rin akong komprontahin about Jeff. Binilisan nya ang takbo ng motor so napahawak ako sa beywang nya. My hands are just a couple of inches away from his crotch. Bigla nyang hinto ang motor sa may ilalim ng puno. "Pwede ba tayong magsimula ulit?," tanong nya, nangungusap ang mga mata. Na-mental block ako. Part of me wanted to keep him, part of me wanted to move on. I was thinking baka chance ko na rin tumino, na iwasan na ang homosexual tendencies ko. "Ikaw talaga, let's move on na," yun lang ang nasabi ko, pabiro. Awkward silence. "Malapit na ako mag-22!," panunukso ni Gerald. Natawa ako kasi naalala ko ang deal namin dati, na susukatin ko ang titi nya kapag 22 na kami. Hinatid na nya ako sa amin. Kwentohan sila ng family ko, I could sense they missed him. Dati naman kasing dumadalaw-dalaw si Gerald sa amin. Minsan nga tinutulungan nya ang nanay ko na titser gumawa ng art materials sa klase nito kasi wala akong talent sa aspetong yun. Nagpaalam na si Gerald. Yun yata ang huling kita ko sa kanya. I lost touch with him. Nalaman ko na magsyota na pala ni Jackie. I was happy for both of them. I don't know if nagseselos ako, pero parang more on guilt. I don't know if Jackie should know about our past. Pero sa tingin ko mas mabuting wala syang alam. Ako naman, zero love life, negative sex life! Pero hindi rin naman ako naghahanap. Umiiwas ako sa mga sitwasyong makakapagsex ako, kaya ko naman pala. Hindi ko namalayan it’s been almost 4 years, or so of singleblessedness. 

I got a message sa yahoo account ko, galing kay Jackie. She is inviting me to her wedding, to Gerald. I sent my best wishes agad to her. On that same day, I got a text message. Si Gerald pala, nangungumusta. Pero nag-ring ang phone ko, sya pa rin pala. Nag-usap kami, I tried to make it as lively as I wanted it to be. He confirmed na ikakasal na sila ni Jackie, I congratulated him. Sure ako wala akong bitterness sa heart ko. Pero nagulat ako sa sinabi ni Gerald. "Ikaw best man ko ha?!," parang order nya na gawin ko. "Ayoko!," tanggi ko. "I won't take no for an answer," sagot nya sabay baba sa line nya. Potek mapapasubo yata ako nito. Finally we arrived at a fair deal. Napakiusapan ko ang isa naming classmate na ito ang tumayong best man. Pero pumayag akong one of the groom's men. Para na rin yung mini reunion naming mag-classmates. It was Jackie who would often text me, ako na daw bahala sa boys, everthing is prepared na daw kelangan lang naming magpasukat sa dress shop na kinuha nila. Ewan ko pero everytime Jackie communicates with me, naaasiwa ako, nagi-guilty ako. Pero pilit kong nirarason sa utak ko na I came into Gerald's life before her. Naisa-ayos na namin lahat bago pa ang kasal nila, pati stag party at despedida del soltera nilang dalawa, of course magkahiwalay yun. I took care in gathering the boys.

We rented a thrift hotel na malaki at pwedeng magluto. I prepared our dinner and pulutan. Yung stag party naganap the night before the wedding day, OK lang daw kasi 4PM pa ang oras ng kasal kinabukasan. Nagsidatingan na ang mga kalalakihan naming classmates, may bitbit na hard drinks at red horse. Nagdinner muna kami. Panakaw kong tiningnan si Gerald, gwapo nya! Sana ako nalang ang bride ng hunk classmate kong ito. It's been almost 4 years na hindi ko sya nakita. Di ko maiwasang maging malisyoso, especially na mas naging makisig sya at 26 years old. Ninanakawan ko ng tingin ang harapan nya, parang may santol sa loob ng pantalon nya. Nahuli nya ako, kinindatan nya lang ako, which made me blush. Pero parang hindi naman nahalata ng ibang classmates namin. I was confident nobody knew about us, our past or whatever we had. Hindi naman kasi kami madalas makitang kasama ever since. So the party went on, inuman. We hired a striptease performer, the boys had gone wild. Boys will be boys pala talaga. But we did not drink all night, we had to contain ourselves from getting too drunk para sa big day kinabukasan. Pero si future groom, bagsak. Nakatulog si Gerald sa sofa. In-assume nila na lasing ito. Pinakiusapan ako ng mga classmates na samahan ko nalang daw ito sa hotel, tutal one night naman ang reservation, at babalikan nalang daw nila kami kinabukasan at ihahatid sa main hotel na naka-assign para magbihis. Tinulungan nila akong magligpit at tuluyan ng umalis. Tinitigan ko si Gerald, sarap nya. medyo nakataas ang shirt nya, kita ang flat abs nya, klaro din ang bukol. "Lock the door," mahinahon nyang utos. "Oh? Lasing ka di ba?," sabi ko. Ngumiti lang sya. "Ayaw mo?," nanunukso sya, pero nakahiga lang. "Sa'yo ako sa gabing ito hanggang bukas, kasi by 4PM, I will be unofficially yours," pabiro nyang warning. Pero he was just teasing, nakahiga lang sya sa sofa, he never made any advances. Tinalo na ng libog ang isip ko. Lumuhod ako sa tapat ng sofa, tiningnan ko ang mukha nya. Hinalikan ko sya, this time I was the one agressive. I took his shirt off. I kissed his neck, down to his chest. I licked his nipples, bumaba ako hanggang sa pusod. Inalis ko sinturon nya at binuksan ang butones ng pantalon. I could smell that familiar territory. Dahan-dahan kong binaba ang zipper ng pantalon nya, kasunod ang brief. Tirik na tirik ang titi nya, may precum na. Tinitigan ko ito, lumaki na nang husto, mas malaki kesa huli ko itong nakita at natikman, hindi nay un bababa ng 6 inches. I started licking the head of his penis, dahan-dahan. Dinilaan ko ang body ng penis nya hanggang bayag. I slowly sucked his fullness. Sumenyas sya na lalabasan na sya pero I continued, sa bibig ko sumabog ang katas, manamis-tamis. Niluwa ko lang ang titi nya nung tumulo ang last drop ng tamod nya. Tinitigan ko sya, parang may lungkot sa kanyang mga mata. I gave my all, I guess that was the best blow job I had ever done to anyone. Hinalikan nya ako, we kissed as if there was no tomorrow. Pinahiga nya ako at pumatong sya, hinubad nya na rin pantalon, sapatos, briefs, lahat hinubad nya, hinubaran nya din ako. Matigas na uli ang junior nya kahit mga 2 minutes pa lang mula ng pumutok ito. We caressed each other, fucked so hard like there was no tomorrow. We slept together, magkayakap, nang hubo't hubad. Sabay din kaming nagshower, dun nag standing position kami, I sucked him dry.

Nasa hotel na kami kung saan dapat magbihis. Separate rooms ang bride at groom. Magkasama na naman kami ni Gerald. Nakagayak na kaming mga groom's men at best man, maliban sa groom. Parang tinatamad si Gerald. Pinakiusapan na naman ako ng tropa na kumbinsihin si Gerald magbihis na, baka daw nagkaka-cold feet, which is normal sa mga ikakasal. "OA talaga nito, magbihis ka na!," pabiro kong sigaw. Kami lang dalawa sa kwarto, nasa baba ang iba naming classmates. "Bihisan mo ako," lambing nya. I took his shirt and pants off, brief lang ang naiwan. Klaro ang bakat, tumitigas na kasi. Patay-malisya lang ako. Akma ko ng ipapasuot sa kanya ang other pants na katerno ng suit nya pero gusto nya raw magpalit ng brief. No choice ako but hubarin ang brief nya. Nanunukso na naman si Gerald pero ako ang nagpigil. Sinuot ko sa kanya ang bagong brief at yung katerno ng suit na pants. I put on his suit, groomed him as he had to be. Gwapo nya talaga, para syang dadalo sa Star Magic Ball ng ABS-CBN. Gayak na sya at lahat pero may reklamo sya. "Sira yata zipper ng pants ko," he was complaining, acting like he could not get it up. Nakita kong nakababa ang zipper. Nung akma ko ng hawakan ang zipper, he held my hand and smiled at me, that pilyo smile. Sa isip ko last na chance ko na so I popped his dick out of his trousers and lick it and then tucked him in. Niyaya ko na sya bumaba, kinaladkad ko na pababa bago pa ako mademonyo sa libog. At the wedding ceremonies, ang gwapo at ganda nila tingan na couple. All seemed to be happy, even me, with all of my heart. I am happy to see the man with whom I learned what love and sex is all about. A week after that wedding eh lumipad na silang mag-asawa abroad. Nagka-anak din sila agad at sinabihan kaming magbabarkada na ninong at ninang, kahit sa ibang bansa ang actual na binyagan. Updated kaming magbabarkada sa facebook. Latest news eh uuwi daw sina Gerald at Jackie, kasama ng baby girl nila, sa December. Excited akong makita sila. This time sigurado na ako sa sarili ko na taganggihan ko na anumang pagkakataon na maglalapit sa amin ni Gerald sa pagsi-sex. Nakakaguilty naman, lalo pa't sa akin humihingi ng advice si Jackie kapag may misunderstanding sila ni Gerald. And I feel Gerald is and will always be a good husband and father. It is indeed a happy ending… For me!                   

109 comments:

  1. Ang ganda ng pagka-narrate ng story. Na-feel ko ang sincerity ng author. It's like watching a movie and you're a part of it. Sana all is well sa kanilang lahat. Curious din ako what happened to the cameo character Jeff... In this story, I have reckon love can evolve in so many ways than one. I just had my research and the story's setting all points out to Ateneo de Davao University...

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    1. ...after reading this story, it all popped up all of the thing that happened to me during my schools days.... miss those days!!!...nice one!!...

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    2. > author LA: thanks... will try to come up with jeff's story soon.

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  2. hay sarap bumalik ng college. sana maging coco din ako para makaranas ng mga gerald at jeff. siguro may charisma din itong si coco kasi nakadenggoy ng mga gwaping.

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    1. hahahaha siguro nga :D gwapo din yata sya :D

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  3. Wow.. Nainlove ako sa story mo ang ganda :)

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  4. wow ang ganda ng story.

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  5. Author write kpa ng story ha.. Actually naluha ako sa story mo.. naramdaman ko ung parehong bigat at gaan na dinanas khit nagbabasa lang ako.. +1 ako d2 sa story mo packaged na libog factor, drama factor, at marami pa.. naluha ako dun nung umiyak c gerald confronting regarding ky jeff.. tumulo luha ko..

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    1. > Author LA: salamat at na-touch ko emotions mo kahit hindi naman ako talaga writer.

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  6. I've been reading a lot of stories here for 2 years now and I must say your story is one of those interesting ones. And yeah, your story is well-written. I like how it was narrated.
    I don't know but after reading this, i felt sad. Same feeling actually after reading Sana'y Wala Ng Wakas (the story of Jefford and Jaydon) Probably because of two things: 1) I have issues on people leaving us after being too attached to them; or 2) I am a hopeless romantic discreet bi who's a bit envious with this kind of romantic experience. I'm in my late 20's who never learned to come out because of one fact: people will judge us (and maybe, including our own family too). Kaya, careful din pag may time. :) I guess I became like this because I was molested when I was young. One sad fact in my life that I could never change. :(

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    1. i'm not a psychologist but i sometimes read interesting articles... totoo yan, like 95% of mature men with homosexual tendencies have been molested in their childhood. ako naman i would not call it molestation, more on exposure... like nung preschool age ako, pinapakita sa akin t*t* ng manliligaw ng auntie ko (mga early 20s that time, which nakatuluyan din ng auntie ko). parang na-amaze ko makakita ng adult pen*s - sa shape nito, sa hugis ng tuli, sa bolbol... sumunod nun mga grade1 na ako, sa kapatid naman nung uncle ko. share kami bed nun lagi nya ako pinapahawak t*t* nya twing gabi... tsaka nung grade 6 naman ako sa married kong pinsan (mid 20s na xa nun)... if i were to look back, siguro it was more on amazement and that sensation na iba... that still brings back that same sensation up to now that i am nearing 30... pero i can control my urges naman. i never had sex for over 5 years now... it's really a choice, a conscious choice... sana din hindi mo malimutang i-enjoy ang life kahit ano ka pa man ;-)

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    2. I was molested as a child din. I am closeted bi too... Though we had homo tendencies at our family. I have a gay brother and he's. Out. Nakita ko syang kutyain ng mga tao, including our relatives. I pity him. And isa yun sa factor im still at my closet.

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    3. i also had a childhood sexual encounter with my cousin which is about on his late teens... i was about 7-9y/o that time... during summer breaks, we usually stay at my cousin's house and after bath time, we are doing the thing... he is asking me to lick his 'sandata' and he will suck mine to in return... it was an unexplainable feeling... still no thoughts of "kamunduhan" that time, i just know that it feels good... i hope sa mga grown ups na hindi nila gawin un ginawa ng cousin ko. it was by then i felt much sexually aroused sa men. now im Bi now but mas malakas ung affection ko sa guys.

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    4. Nakakarelate din ako sa experiences niyo. Di ko akalain marami din palang situation na katulad sa experinces ko in my childhood days. Hindi lng pala ako nag.iisa. :)

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    5. I too have the same experience. Sa kapitbahay namin at dalawang pinsan ng mother ko noong mga 7-10 yrs old ako. At that time wala rin akong kaalam alam sa nangyayari basta they will ask me to suck them at they will do the same to me, hindi ko nga rin maintindihan ung feeling that time. Now I understand kung saan nanggaling tong sexual urges ko towards guys. I'm 22 now, confused, no girlfriend/boyfriend since birth, no other experience except those from my childhood, aspiring to be successful someday. Pero sa kalooblooban ko i want to experience to be loved or loved pero masyado akong takot i try. My mind tells me na i want a normal boy-girl relationship ung maexperience ung naeexperience nung mga guys my age but my body tells me otherwise. mas malakas ung sexual attraction ko toward guys at aminado naman ako na sobra akong nalilibugan sa mga guys.

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    6. I commented at the top na. Though yung pagkakaiba siguro sa experience naten is i had never been sucked nila...

      Mahirap talaga magmahal.same tayo. No gf/bf sincr birth.

      Pero kaya natin to. Tiwala lang. ;)

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    7. I remember this gay cousin of mine... bata pa lang sya ladlad na sya.. he's about 4.5 years older than me... i was about 6 or 7... una kong narinig sa kanya ang salitang "kan*u**n" niyayaya nya ko gawin yun sa ilalim ng kama... binababa shorts and briefs till knees... tapos pinagdidikit ang dulo ng aming mga t*t*.... dat was it... kaya cguro kong naging ganito... out sya pero ako pilit pa ring nagtatago kahit alam kong may nakaka amoy na... at 30 plus still single wat wud u think?

      Delete
    8. I remember dn wen i was n my elementary life. . .mz cousn aq lague akmg hnihpuan pag tlog n lhat ng tao hanggang sa ng high pskul aq. Me takot ,sarap at pandidiri aq. . Kya cguro aq ganto rilahis . . Nanghi2nayang dn aq s itsura ku kung d aq magkaka anak . . Hay

      Delete
  7. Hmm. I felt bad or kinda sad sa story mo. Don't get me wrong. Ang ganda ng pagakasulat and ang ganda ng story but I felt sayang yung love story ninyo. Clearly, you both love each other. But you let him go. But I commend you mr author because you gave him up to have his own family. Pero sayang. You can be madly deeply inlove until now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yun nga lang, ganun pa rin ang kalalabasan sooner or later. Lalo na at hindi sila out. People will be asking kung bakit di pa sila nag-aasawa. In the end, isa or both of them mag-aasawa.

      Hirap ma-attract sa same sex. Walang future unless na lang at parehas kayong may courage na ipaalam sa iba.

      Delete
  8. Ang bigat. :( affected ako. Sana you said yes na dati.

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  9. This story is very well narrated. A proof that the author comes from a top tier university in davao. The author is in love, he's the kindest of all. Almost all of the description of what should love be in a Corinthians verse depicts on his actions to gerald. I just wonder if in time it would end like the famous husbands lover teleserye(i havent watched the serye).

    kyleix

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  10. Complete package: story of childhood adventures, awakening, friendship, lust, love, sacrifices, letting-go...

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  11. For da 1st tym,nakabasa aku ng npakagandang story.

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  12. Nice one! Super relate ako sa story mo. Ang hirap ma inlove sa kapwa lalaki. At least nagkaroon ako ng acceptance sa sarili ko na hindi puwedeng maging kami. Kudos!

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  13. The story is very similar din sa kwento ko nung 17 years old ako and i had this "bestfriend". The same path happened to us and it was that it all happened for a reason. The only thing: naging single blessedness sya habang ako naman happily committed with someone else. The younger years were great but hanggang dun nalang talaga yun. Great story mr. Author! :)

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  14. wahh. 1st comment ko to d2.. relate much. same univ kmi yet lumipat xa ng institution noong Sr yr na.. knya2 career na kmi. no contact for yrs na.. wish him well. I guess may asawa na xa:-)

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  15. hi. i remember before math contestant din ako. winner of regional mtap when i was in 3rd and 4th year. i have feelings for my team mate back then and ganun din sya sken but i chose friendship over my feelings kc i know thats the right thing to do.

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  16. maganda ang pagkakalahad ng kwento mr. author... A+mazng!!!
    i feel you sa kwento, sayang at di natuloy ang love story nyo..

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  17. Ang sad naman nito! Nakakadepress ang hetero-normative na pagiisip. Juskoday kung ako ikaw i followed my heart. Carpe diem. Or siguro yon talaga nasa puso mo, ang dumedma. Sana walang pagsisisi in the end na "what if." Lahat ata ng baklang kakilala ko yan ang pantasya, mainlove sayo isang straight. Tapos dinedma lang! Kaloka. Sayang.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. may straight ba na chumupa rin at na-inlove din kay "Coco" (huh???). Pinili lang talaga niyang magpaka-straight.... hehehe peace bro.

      Delete
  18. Ang tunay na bading hinaharap ang mga pagkukutya, kahit ng sariling relatives. You guys think nakakaawa ang mga out na bading? Mas naaawa kami sa mga nagtatago at hindi nagpapahalata. Gumawa kayo ng sarili niyong preso. That's the worst one can endure in life. Do you think yung mga nangungutiya ang tama? Don't you think they are the ones who need educating? Sila ang mali. Walang ginagawa ang bakla sa kanila pero sila itong nanghuhusga. Kailangan silang maturuan, hindi pagtaguan. Mas "lalake" pa ang mga bading na out(paminta man o pagirl) because they have the glorious guts to be themselves. You think novel idea ang pagkamysterious ng sexuality mo dahil hindi alam ng tao na bakla ka? That is an illusion and an escape goat from confronting your true identity. Sige ibigay na nating may choba ang "straight tripper," hindi ba at the end of the day naglolokohan lang tayong lahat? Nakakalungkot ang state ng mga bading dito. Just putting it out there para sa mga nasa closeta. If kami kinaya namin, kayang kaya niyo rin to mga kuya! We have one life to live. Live it with passion, not fear. Mahal ka rin ng Diyos at yon ang gusto niya para sayo. Ang maging totoo ka sa sarili mo at sa ibang tao. Pero kung contented ka na sa paghahide, think bigger. You could marry the love of your life with no judgement from anyone. Kaya mo yan kuya/ate! Hindi naman kailngn maging pagirl to come out, kailangan lang maging totoo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > Author LA: thanks! i totally respect your point and admire your courage. it's just that there are things to consider. i can't be totally happy knowing i would risking my entire family's reputation. not in this lifetime, perhaps.

      Delete
  19. Ayyyy... Must be true love. Napi-feel ko na mahal pa rin nila Coco at Gerald ang isa't isa. It's just that they are both bounded by societal norms and stereotyping. I bet kayang-kaya ni Coco na landiin si Gerald pag uwi nito ngayong December and that almost certain din ako na bibigay si Gerald. Pero knowing the kind of personality Coco has, I'm sure hindi nya gagawin ang i-seduce si Gerald. Siguro in both of their hearts, fit ang kantang BUKAS NA LANG KITA MAMAHALIN. Sana in the future, may Coco at Gerald na magkakatuluyan... Sobrang naiintindihan ko si Coco. Hindi ko sya sinisisi for not coming out. At sana sa mga out na gaya natin, wag natin i-generalize na dapat mag-out na lahat. Hindi mo naman kelangang maging vulgar or magpa-presscon just to show you're gay. Ang mas mahalaga, tanggap ka ng family and the closest of your friends. Tsaka I believe may pinanghahawakang posisyon itong si Coco sa instfitution (work nya). Maybe he had it all considered - life with Gerald, family's reputation... So mas pinili Coco ang magparaya for the greater good of the majority. I wish you good luck Coco! Sana mabasa mo ang mga comments dito. I know writing this story is somehow a relief on your part, it lightens the burden you've been carrying all your life. I know ikaw yung tipong genuinely mabait. God bless!

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    Replies
    1. TAMA... agree ako sayo sa opinion mo teh.

      Delete
  20. Pota ayus story mo pare!

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  21. Ganda po ng story. FORGIVENESS, SACRIFICE :'> Kinilg po ako na sad. :'( Yung nagtext siya sayo . Ang sweet. :) Tapos nung ikakasal na si Gerald. Aww. I hope you find the perfect/ right person who loves you. Congrats ! Amazing Story :)

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  22. sana dh konalang binasa author. sobrang ganda na nakakakilig pro sobrang lungkot nung ending... anyway wish u gudluck author...

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  23. while readinghindi kalibugan ang nasa isip ko eh TRUE LOVE STORY of a gaY kht ganyan ang ending CLOSETA ka man o maglantad ka I KNOW MAHAL ka parin ni GERALD mo

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  24. fuck this shit! I do not know what to feel exactly. Both happy and sad.
    Well narrated ang story. Felt the pain and happiness ng story at the same time.
    Kainis lang kasi my heart beats really fast habang tina-type ko tong comment ko.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahahahahhaa cofi!

      Delete
    2. > Author LA: really? i will take that as a compliment. :-)

      Delete
  25. NAPAKAGANDA NG STORYA WAGAS SA PAG IIBIGAN KAYA MUNG MAG PARAYA SA IKAKABUTI NG LAHAT..SANA MAGAWA KO DIN ANG NAGAWA NI GERALD... MASARAP MAGING BI PERO MAHIRAP HARAPIN BUHAY NA WLA KANG PAMILYA O ANAK..... NICE STORY I LOVE THIS STORY..

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  26. kinilig aq sa story nato, landi ng bida hahaha :)

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  27. Tama ang hindi na pag patul sa kantang "the past .." ganda ng story #relate...

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  28. Wow! Napakagandang story.
    Well written

    Ben

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  29. bakit parang nakakarelate ako kahit hindi naman nangyari sa akin? the story is so factual like i can even picture out the characters and each scene... soooo love... the best realistic and full of moral lesson to date!

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  30. long story but worth reading... love it...

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  31. nakakaiyak yung story, great story medyo nakaka relate ako sa istorya mo :(

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  32. Maganda ang story ramdam mo n true to life.. astig...

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  33. NAKAKA-BOTHER!!! ang ganda :-)

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  34. This story obviously came straight from the heart of someone who felt what genuine affection really means. Full of restrained emotions that peaked into a burst of love they long denied existed between them. Sad but beautiful story.

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  35. ganda ng story, plus yung mga feedbacks ng mga reader halatang lahat sila naantig sa story na to, looking forward sa story ng author at ni jeff..

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  36. This is the best m2m story that I've read so far. The story was well crafted and you could feel the emotions that each memory holds. It's kinda sad that they didn't end up together but I guess that's how life goes.

    People like us (bisexuals) have the best of both sides but it's a double edge sword. The happiness will also reap it's equivalent sadness. We may thrive with excitement at every new adventure in our youth but at the end of the day we still aspire to have a family; a lovely wife and energetic kids.

    I believe that we are all lost souls searching for love, for acceptance not only from others but also from ourselves. And until that moment comes, we can't experience true happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  37. may tanong lang po ako sa author,
    straight o Bi po ba c Gerald?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > Author LA: if you will qualify gerald having done "it" with me being bisexual already, then he is. but i am the only male he had done it with. i can attest to that because we also had a classmate who was bi and attempted advances to him but he denied it. he was fuming mad at that guy. we also got the chance to lay our cards at the stag party nung kami na lang. that time he had sex with 3 girls and only me while I only had 1 girl, jeff and him.

      Delete
    2. Once you've done something with same sex, it's already a bisexual. Anyway, author nice experience ha.. mahirap talaga pag ganyan.. wag nlng sana ma inlove. Hehe.. in first place, both of you knew whats inside of you. At least ok lng yung friendship nyo. Hehe. God bless author. Bdw, im from Davao. Hope to see you soon. :)

      Delete
  38. Grabe naman to!!! It is something I had hoped to have happened to me. I guess it's too late to be doing such, more so that I am now in my late 30s and have grown up kids. But I had this fondest memory of a best friend. It never went as far as to the act, but we had the chance caressing each other - even until the early years of our married lives. That was what's holding me, the risk of letting go. I mean we stopped doing it but we could not help but sometimes get intimate whenever we are together. So I guess the best thing is to avoid being alone together. Pero napi-picture out ko talaga lahat ng characters. Masaya na malungkot. Salamat author kasi I felt weird knowing I was singled out to be feeling this way.

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  39. Wow! best story I have ever read in this site so far!
    To give up the man you love so much for a greater purpose!
    You are so lucky and most of all a very kind person.

    nagli-linger sa akin yung sadness ng story! yun yung tumatak e.
    Grabe ka author! 4days ago ko na to binasa pero sobrang affected pa rin ako haha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > Author LA: thank you. it lessens my guilt and regret hearing comments like this.

      Delete
  40. Also - update mo kami kung ano mangyayari pagkauwi nya galing abroad ah!
    Kung sa akin nangyari yan - call me selfish and all but I wont do the same - di ko siya igigive up.
    ang LUNGKOT ko talaga sa story na to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > Author LA: yung totoo? naisip at naiisip ko din yan. pero somehow letting go lightens my heart. as far as i can remember nung last na kinukulit nya ako sa text, i was thinking of giving in. pero instead, i replied: "i know we loved each other but we couldn't seem to make it right."

      Delete
    2. galing naman ni Kuya LA... nakaka-inlove ka (yung paninindigan mo.... two thumbs up (y) (y) ). Bagama't alam natin na minsan lang dumating ang ganitong sitwasyon, but I think you've made a right decision... hirap din itong ganito tayo ano??? hahaha .. pero mas masarap ang magkaroon ka ng sariling pamilya (asawa at mga anak), totoo yon LA, lalo na kapag naglalambing na ang mga tsikiting mo...ah grabe walang kasing saya Kuya LA, tiyak malilimutan mo na si.. sino ba yon? (hahaha tinignan ko ulit).. si Gerald. Maghanap ka na ng mapapangasawa, mag-GF ka na. Pero advice Kuya LA, kilalanin mo muna sa future "wife" hanapin mo sa kanya yung character na gusto mo sa mapapangasawa. Totoo wala namang perpekto, pero importante yung ugali. Madali naman siguro sayo ang makita ng syota (kung si Gerald nga na-in-love sayo eh hehehe). Mas masarap ang may pamilya Kuya LA....

      Delete
    3. Mr Author, by saying that "we couldn't seem to make it right" means that there is more to the story than that. there has been a rift between you and him. There's a reason why you pulled yourself away. Why?

      Delete
  41. Parang ako yung nalungkot at affected sa story. Nice kaayo bah! :)

    ReplyDelete
  42. first time ko mag comment dito, sa tagal ko na nagbabasa. 2 words. ANG BIGAT.
    "Sa'yo ako sa gabing ito hanggang bukas, kasi by 4PM, I will be unofficially yours". nung nabasa ko to gusto itigil basahin kasi akong nag babasa lang sobrang affected, pano pa kaya si author? I don't know what to say.. really. No matter what, he's your "one" that got away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > Author LA: indeed, he is the one that got a way. but i guess letting him go is a relief on my part knowing he would be in someone else's arms, someone who has loved him for so long. and mostly, someone who could give him a child for him to have a family to call his own.

      Delete
    2. someone who could give him a child. is this what it's all about? you being unable to give him a child thus you two can't be a family? you pushed him away. even at the end i can feel the pain in gerald's voice, him being yours ALL those times! it's just that he is getting married but all those times man. he was just waiting for you. why, why did you give up?

      Delete
  43. ...great story ever... i salute you for the decision you made...

    JEL

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  44. author, where did you get the courage to withdraw your feelings back? :( i think you are not really happy at the end

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  45. > Author LA: believe, it was the hardest decision i ever made. but i had to consider and reconsider a lot of things - my family's reputation, us being active church members... in fact gerald had suggested we that we settle abroad... pero i chose to let him go... i guess that was the best for the majority.

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  46. I admire your determination LA, ang galing, ayos at sana wag mong panghinayangan ang mga bagay na sa pag-aakala mo ay tama. Lalong higit sinasabi mo na lagi mong ikino-consider parati your family reputation. And you've said also, that as much as possible you wanted to avoid your homosexual tendencies. At nagawa mo naman for 4 years kamo..., at siguro hanggang ngayon. Gawin mo yung sa tingin mo ay tama, matalino ka naman. Mahirap mag-decision sa isang bagay na sa bandang huli ay pagsisisihan mo habang buhay. Gwapo ka I'm sure (dahil na-inlove sayo si "Gerald" hehehe), hindi mahirap sa'yong magkapamilya. Kilalanin mo lang mabuti ang babaeng pakakasalan mo, importante ang ugali.

    Sarap basahin ng istorya mo (bilib me, 3x ko na yatang binasa hehehe), relate lang ang lolo mo (during my college days with my buddy, pero kahit anong pilit niya di ako bumigay & I never had sex with any men). Happily married na ako ngayon w/ 4 kids & we're based abroad rin. Yun lang may time pa rin akong manood at magbasa minsan ng m2m encounters (kung may free time sa work) pero hanggang doon na lang yong homosexual tendencies ko.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > Author LA: wow kudos to you! oh di ba? kaya naman kung sa kaya? yeah sana i will have my family, too. ingat kayo lahat dyan and regards to your family.

      Delete
  47. Well written and narrated ng story. Pero ang sad ng ending. Well, para sa akin sad to. I'm 19 years old, still hidden in the closet. I have a boyfriend. Pareho kaming hindi pa out. Pareho kaming napepressure na magtago kasi homophobic ang mga families namin. Nakarelate ako sa story somehow. Btw, kudos Author! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  48. Dear LA,
    It took me 3 days to find your story and compared to the most recent and other stories in KM, Yours is the heaviest... probably because I also fear I might end up like yours. I am also from a family who never believe that 3rd Genders exist. Based from how they ridicule my cousin who came out, I fear that it might happen the same way so I decided to be closeted. Compared to you, you were able to experience how to love and learn sex at an early age... while me, Still a freakin virgin and never experienced love like yours. I don't know what to do. I want them to be happy, but how could I experience the real life if I let myself binded to my parents' orders? Even this course I'm currently taking, It's their choice... though I love this school because my closest friends accept me for who I am, even though its a catholic university. I'm more open to them. But still, I could not learn from them... "nangangapa parin ako." Ilang days na pero sa tuwing naalala ko yung story mo, sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. You have the best college life, you had the best person but both of you failed to fight for each other. Sobrang sayang :( If ever may makita ako, will my story end like yours for I'm so closeted that I could only show my love in a room? I do salute you for what you did at the end. It's hard to make decisions and It's hard to be wise. I hope you'll find the right person someday. Ika nga " be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve. " Take Care :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. > Author LA: sana happy ending ang sa'yo! heheh good luck and salamat :-)

      Delete
    2. Pwede may like button na I like ang
      Comment mo.hahaha. mabigat din feeling ko while I'm reading l.a 's story coz na experienced ko din to college din ako at taga davao din ako at nag aaaral din sa sikat na university sa davao. Nagmahal din Ako sa closest friend ko na lalaki at nagging kami kahit na may gf xa nung time na yun. As in mag on na may I love you at endearment factor

      Delete
  49. The story of acceptance and letting go even though it seemed to hurt the feeling of each other. .I salute you author for such a beautiful write up .. keep on writing..

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  50. smooth pagkakasulat.convincing cyah pero mura lng naa halu char uie..i sense it

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  51. Mr. Author, beyond words...your story is beautiful. Di sya pure libog Lang, may puso. It has been days since I read this and I still think of it at times. You have touched lives and that's a beautiful gift. Thank you for your story.

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  52. My emotions were distorted to such an extent that I don't know how and what to feel. It's a well-written story.It's very erotic and I could really feel the emotions per scenario, and the way it connects the reader to the author's thoughts. It's one of my best reads this year. Thanks for the story! I'll look forward to your upcoming stories.

    Btw, I guess we're similar in so many ways, I'm also nerdy and that attitude of yours when you said you enjoy silence and the sarcasm and so much more.

    Once again ,Thank you! :D I really enjoyed reading your story.

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  53. I have read your story last night and it really affects me until now. I understand u bro for ur decision. It was hard.

    Wish u all the happiness despite of sacrificing a man of ur life.

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  54. Mr. Author... bakit? :'(
    He's the one that got away indeed.

    Ang BIGAT.
    Nangingibabaw sakin yung salitang SAYANG at SANA :'(

    Pero, thank you for sharing your story with us.
    Love it.
    Yung last part medyo don talaga ko nadala at muntik na maiyak. hehe.

    Nice, job well done po!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Ang Bigat ng feeling! Mahirapan ako mag move on sa story mo, author!

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  56. Hah. Articulate and knowledgeable. Good to see well-constructed stories sa site na 'to.

    Author LA, I'm happy for you. These kind of decisions... they're brutal and requires tremendous sacrifice. It's breaking, even, on some moments. Hoping you're holding on.

    Thank you for sharing the wonderful life story.

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  57. When I read this story naalala ko yung experience ko nung na in love Ako sa closest friend ko na lalaki. May mga nangyari din sa amin. Sya una at huli Kong lalaki na minahal. Pero mas pinili ko na lumayo kasi yun ang sa tingin ko na makakabuti sa aming dalawa. At thank God naka pag move on na Ako and nowiI'm getting married to a woman.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Grabe so inspiring yet in reality heart breaking. Beautiful story and experience. I could feel all the emotions. Subconsciously wishing I could experience this kind of love too. Would done what the author did pa rin. His choices and decisions made. Thank you for sharing. Kahit di ko pa na experience at least mejo alam ko na ang feeling. Late 20's out with the family and society pero daming inhibitions sa sex. Still earning waiting and hoping that if ever may sex sana sa guy with emotions not just lust.

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  59. i salute the author (LA) for this nicely told story ever, mixed emotions ang naramdaman ko while reading the story.lalo na kpag may mga kilig moments.but most part of the story eh relate much, daming flashback sa mga past relationships ko,halos the same fate kc tau author eh.ung story mo kc ndi puro lust, may truthfulness, may kilig factor at may tampuhan effect.i wouldnt know how would i feel if i were on your shoes dun sa part na getting married na xa.coz i cant holdback my emotions,lalo na at may feelings na ako for him.cguro nga magaling ka lng tlga mghandle ng nrramdaman mo.im looking forward to see you.

    -urangel03

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  60. grabe ka author.., unang bsa ko nito hindi talaga ako maka move on sa decision niyo po.., ikaw ang pinaka selfless na tao na maari ko pong makilala.., :)

    mas sinaluduhan pa po kita lalo na sa nabasa ko na comment niyo po na nagsuggest si gerald sayo na magsettle abroad pero pinili niyo po parin na hindi .., :)

    hope na maligaya ka po ngayon author at salamat po sa pagshare ng story niyo po :) God Bless

    - miller

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  61. I can't find suitable words to dercribe what I felt after reading your story. Its like heaven and hell..You made my day as sexy as a vixen but on the other side you made me realize na kahit masakit na kelangan mong magparaya. Its like I am now letting you go.. May you find your way back home..anyways kudos LA! I know that before you made your decision inisip mo din ang pagmamahal mo sarili mo. Sabi nga nila Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first..

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  62. Kudos to you, mr. Author.

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  63. I was moved by the story, mr. Author. Hindi man tayo similar ng experience pero nagmahal ako ng totoo. Tapos sya binitawan nya ako. Maybe because he found someone who can made him whole. Pero mahal ko pa ata sya.

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  64. omg kinilig ako sa story sobra, isa sa mga pinaka the best story d2 sa KM, and di ka mag dadalawang isip na realistic talaga, nakaka inggit ka girl hahahaha

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  65. Ang parang gets ko kung sang school ka hahaha

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  66. Di ko alan kung tadhana ung nanangyari pero nung sumasakay ako sa bus naka sandal lang ako nun sa bintana kasi ang aga nung byahe, tapos bigla nalang pinatugtog ung "the past" na kanta , di ko maintindihan ung feeling ko nung oras na un halong lungkot at saya, kasi meron din kasi akong kaibiga. Na gusto gusto ko. Straight siya at may Girlfriend narin siya, kaya aun hangang tingin nalang. Medyo takot din akong umibig , takot akong maiwanan at ma reject :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Continuation sa Comment ko po :) Thank you Mr. Author sa pag share ng story mo . Alam kong Masakit i let go ung taong minamahal mo pero ginawa mo un dahil mahal mo siya ng buong buo ... sabi nga nila if you really love him you got to set him free ;)

      PS: Favorite song ko na po ngaun ung the Past :) sana mabasa nyo po tong comment ko :)

      Delete
  67. Nainis aq lol naiinis tlga aq sa mga sad endings ih! Let me say this to the author please pra lng mawala inis q, ANG TANGA TANGA MO! Tangina mo! Tanga mo hayop ka lols sorrryyyyyyyy antanga mo kc dapat nag yes kn lng dun sa starting over again ih!!!!!! Bwisit ka naunahan k tuloy nun bruha aaligid aligid lol kainis k tlga ang tanga mo! Sorryyyyyy

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  68. Ay naiyak ako., naka relate. Huhuhu.

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  69. Ang galing .. D ako mka move on 5x ko binasa .. Pls authhor LA dpat my part 2 bout sa pgblik ni gerald...sana d maputol communication..malay mo sa huli muling ibalik..

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  70. Mr author pls update sa inyo ni gerald

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  71. Mr author.. Minsan na pa icip ako sana d kona nabasa ang story mo.. Nhirapn ako mg move on.. Ini icp ko parati love story nyo.. Pang mmk... Ang galing tlga.. Sana my part 2.. Khit wla ng bed scene hehe.. Bsta bout sa inyo ni gerald sa pg blik nya pinas

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  72. Another masterpiece. Ang ganda ng pacing. Npka bilis pero parang gusto mo ng malaman kasunod agad2x. Kudos to the author. I'll give you an A+ for this

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  73. A big wow to the author. I like the pacing of the story it seems like an autobiography but cool to read. Kudos to the author!

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