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Thursday, January 26, 2017

When Enough is Enough (Part 1)

By: Kenneth

Hey, first of all I'm not a writer and forgive me for grammatical and typo errors.  i'm just trying to write a story. this is my first time :).  Sana mapost ito please. To whoever owns this site, thank you if ever. kung may mapupuna kayo sa aking sinulat please tell (constructive criticism)

“Kenneth Morales, 50, scheduled for a mitral valve replacement and complained stomach pain all night.”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing! So we tested the cardiac enzyme and run an echo but both are normal”
“Did anyone touch his stomach?” now all the interns are looking at me and no one answered.
“No one touched the patient? Are you in the Moron class? Palpating the abdomen is the first before running all those tests you mentioned. Basics people! Fundamentals.” I don’t know what to expect with these interns.
“Ouch!” the patient complained as I palpate his abdomen.
“Does it more or less when I touch here?”
“Ouch! It hurts more”
“Take Mr. Morales for a triple contrast CT and try not to kill anyone. I think he has appendicitis.” I said authoritatively to the interns.
“um, sir let’s deal with your abdominal pain first before we proceed to your Valve replacement.” I told the patient. I just don’t want any complications when he undergoes the surgery.

I’m Tyler a doctor just so you know. I entered med school because I have a miserable life. My father disowned me because I’m gay. I live alone in my apartment. Single, because afraid to trust people again. So my life basically is a mess. At least I have mom my who supported me all throughout the process of me becoming a doctor. I had fun in med school that’s why I am who I am today and I can say, all those trials and struggles in life strengthened me. That’s why I’m a tough one. I’m enjoying my work because I’m in my last year of residency So much for an introduction. I have work to do.
“hey doctor Zamora here is the lab result for Mr. Thomas and it looks pretty bad.”
“What is it?”
“His PSA is sky rocket and I bet its prostate cancer” said the intern with confidence. I like this kid. He’s rocking it.
“Order a CT and MRI to see if the cancer cells have spread”
“Right away sir”
These interns! Running all over the hospitals to prove their places in the program. I was like that before when I was an intern.
“hi mom! What’s up? I miss you much” I busted in her office to surprise her.
“ow. When did you arrive! Me too, I miss you so much. Here to talk to your daddy?”
“c’mon mom! Im here for you and Aya!” as I came close to hug her. “you know well that dad and I are not in good terms.”

“I know that’s why you took Medicine to prove to your dad that you’re not a piece of shit.”
“exactly mom! You know me very well”
“let’s go grab lunch later darling wait me at the lobby. I’ll see you in fifteen”
“sure mom.”
I’m go down and wait for my mom at the lobby. Surprisingly the elevator is empty this time. It’s quite unusual for me because every time I come here the elevator is compact I wonder why. In the middle of my contemplation the elevator suddenly opened. Upon seeing the man stepping inside the elevator I don’t know what to say. Matagal ko na siyang kinalimutan! I can’t believe this. Why now?! It’s been 3 years since the last time I saw him. I’m so close to moving on and in just seconds I’m back to Zero again.
Awkward silence is deafening inside the elevator. I can’t stand it. millions of thoughts came rushing inside my head. I don’t know what to do. I wanna get out of this elevator.
“hello Tyler! . I heard you’re a doctor now. Wow! Congratulations. I know it’s your dream and I’m happy to see you.” He broke the silence and wants to chitchat with me as if nothing happened to us 3 years ago. Gusto ko siyang pagmumurahin, pagsusuntukin pero di ko magawa. I’m stuck here standing. I can’t move.
“Yes, I am. I managed to get myself together when you broke me Julian and please stopped pretending like nothing happened three years ago! I fought for you. I even came out to my dad just for you and fought like hell just to prove to my dad that I’m not a worthless gay because I thought you were the one for me. But I was wrong. I was so damn wrong about it. Thankfully I manage to get through it ALONE!. Thank you for breaking me.” I said it all in a single breath and my tears are threatening to drop. Please don’t drop! Don’t drop!
“I’m sorry Ty. I really am” he said with his sorry eyes but im not buying it anymore. I had enough of him. He broke me.
At last. The second I heard the elevator opened I jumped out and head to the lobby to wait for my mom and my tears finally fell and I can’t hide it anymore.
“wait Ty! Let me explain! Please just for a minute let me explain,
“you had a lot for minutes to explain three years ago! You missed your chance” now we are making a scene here in the lobby and people are looking at us as if we are some kind of crazy freaks yelling at each other. I can’t hide my tears anymore because I can’t stop them.
“let’s go Tyler! I made our reservations and you, mister back off before I call the security” said my mom with this angry lion-y face then grabbed me by the wrist and straight to the car.
“I’m sorry I didn’t know he was in the building, I should have known” my mom looking at me and baby-ing me trying to comfort me.
“it’s okay mom I should have told you that I’m coming at your office. And you can’t control who comes in and out of the building. Are you the security guard?”
“gaga! Malay ko ba?” then we both laughed both it and head to our lunch.
I’m on call at the emergency room when an old lady is rushed in here.
“what is it?” I asked at the paramedics for the patient’s status.
“Elizabeth Martin, 76, ischemic stroke and concussion to the right temporal region of the head, vitals are stable for now.” Said the paramedics as if dogs are running after him
“okay bed 3. Wide the way please” I said and the paramedics handed me her chart to evaluate further.
“okay, push some t-PA please and page Dr. Vergara for head consult.”
Wooh! That’s great. What a way to start my night call.
While doing Mrs. Martin’s Chart it hit me! This is Julian Lola. Why didn’t I see this? oh my God! For god’s sake why is this happening to me?!
“somebody call Mrs. Elizabeth family.” I said to the nurse station. “And please put Dr. Vergara as her doctor” I just handed the chart and went outside to grab some coffee.
I went straight to the cafeteria to have some coffee. Nananadya ata ang panahon. Sa dinami dami ba naman ng hospital eh dito pa siya sinugod.
“ouch!” the coffee is hot! Damn! My tongue shit. It hurts. Bwisit.
While walking to back to E.R., I heard my name being paged so I run as fast as I could.
“what is it?” I asked the nurses.
“Mrs. Martin’s family is here”
“did I not tell you to put Dr. Vergara as her doctor?”
“no, sorry I forgot and dr. Vergara just went out after he finished his assessment to Mrs. Martin. Sorry doc.”
“okay fine!”
Kung sinuswerte ka naman oo! Buti nalang asawa ni Mrs. Elizabeth ang pumunta and not Julian.
“hey Mr. Martin.” I greeted him with a smile because that what normal doctors to do the patient’s family when it’s a good news.
“hello Tyler! Are you her Doctor?”
“opo tito. So for now stable siya. She had ischemic stroke and a concussion but no worries. She ju..” he cut me off suddenly
“can we wait Julian he knows these things. I don’t know hospital things I work at a company not a hospital Tyler. Take it easy on me. Wala akong naiintindihan.”
Why wait for him? I can explain it in layman’s terms.
“ow. Kasi ano po.. umm” I continued.
“lo! I heard what happened?” oh  Great he’s here. I can’t see him but I know its him. Why? why!?
“buti nalang nandito ka na, Tyler please explain to him! Baka kayo ang magkaintindihan.” So I turned around to face him.
“hello, Julian” shit! What a great night! I’m trying to be civil in front of his Grand dad. He knows me as his friend, not as his grandson’s ex-boyfriend.
“what happened?” he asked worriedly.
“um your lola had an ischemic stroke which is caused by an embolus. So she needs a surgery. I booked an O.R to remove the clot. All we need is your consent and, for the concussion, No major problem to that. It’s just a minor concussion. If everything will go as plan she’ll be okay. So I’ll check on the schedule I’ll be back.” I’ll be leaving him here. I don’t care.
“wait, tyler. Will she be fine?”
“that is our goal.”
“thank you” he hugged me suddenly and i just stand there don’t know if should I push him away of hug him back. Until he unhug me.
“ow sorry, I just needed it”
“well, its okay It’s my job to comfort worried families.”
“can we talk ty?”
“if its about your lola yes I can. But if for other reasons im busy.”
“I’ll wait”
“you can’t. even if I have time I can’t. I have to go” I walked away and head to the E.R.
I had enough of him. Ayoko na. I don’t wanna see him anymore. Pero it seems like nananadya siya although di naman niya ginusto iyong nangyari sa Lola niya.
“um, Doc can I scrub in to Mrs. Martin’s surgery?” I said just to see if everything goes smoothly in her surgery. I’m also concern of Tita Elizabeth she was so nice to me when Julian and I were close.
“okay, scrub in. im doing her surgery now.”
“okay people, Ten blade please.”
“um doctor Zamora ready the retractors . Suction please”. I hold the retractor and ready to put them in.
Everything is smooth sailing until…
“um more suction please. Damn! What happened? We have a bleeder. More suction! Ow no no no.! push an Epi. Paddles please! Charge to 200! Clear!” everyone of us stepped back and still no progress she’s in defib.
“another epi and charge to 300! Clear” it’s not working. Oh god please bring her back. Julian can’t handle this.
“I’m sorry. Time of death 3:41 a.m.” I sighed deeply and sadness suddenly engulfs me. How will I tell Julian about this? I can’t face him.
I’m here in a distance watching Dr. Rivera telling Julian what happened and I can see it in his eyes. Tears flowing non-stop and he went down on the floor crying. Oh, I wish we could bring her back. Then he looked to my direction, oh please look away. I can’t stand this. I stood there, our eyes as if having a conversation and I walk away. Tears flowing down my cheeks. Why  am I still affected? I can’t control my emotions damn it! I rushed at the back of the hospital to breathe some fresh air.
“one martini please”
“ow. Ready to party ka Tyler hah!”
“of course. It’s been a while since I’ve partied.”
We are here in some kind of bar to hang out with my friends. Sheena invited me  out and I’m not on call tomorrow so why not. I also need this. The stress from work is too much. So let’s have some fun and if I’m lucky, I’m gonna get laid! Boys here, boys there but none caught my attention.
“ano na?! uupo na nalang jan? where is the tyler’s venom to men? Wala na ba?” sheena teases me. Well I don’t know.
“gaga! None caught my attention” I replied back and continued drinking my martini.
“wala? Well meron na! look over there. It’s Julian Martin, your beloved ex! Ayaw mong landiin? Look oh! He’s wasted na! and see the girls over there kanina na nila tinitignan si fafa Julian. Go ahead!”
It’s been a month since her lola died. Yun pa din ba ang dahilan?”
“okay! Pupunta na ako duon.”
I walk past these sea of people makarating lang sa kanya. I’m kinda concern naman. im not heartless and I know how sad he is.
“another martini please” I said para di naman halatang pinuntahan ko siya. Baka sabihin niya nagpapapansin ako.
“Julian you’re wasted.” He looked at me with his drunk-y eyes.
“shut up! I know what I’m doing.”
“hey julian don’t be pissed at me. God!”
“just go away please”
I walked at away and went back to my friends but I’m still guarding him just in case. I see sorrow in his eyes and I didn’t have the chance to ask her why. I’m too afraid to ask because I might care. again. Well I actually care now. All I did is release a deep sigh. I should not feel this. He broke me and I should not care but I just can’t help it. He had enough beer and I can tell from here he’s so drunk. Not to mention those ladies at the side eyeing him.
“hey! Tyler let’s dance. Are you just gonna stand there? Or join me?” mark said with his annoyingly seductive voice.
“I’ll need the rest room Mark. Bye” I said then turned my back to head to the rest room.
I’m taking my time to urinate but something is happening outside. I just don’t know what it is. So I immediately went out and see this wave of people having a commotion in the area where Julian was before I went to the rest room. I hurried to see what’s happening.
“Back of dude, please” Mark said and I can see Julian at the side so drunk with a busted lip.
“ your dude is harassing my girlfriend.” This guy said with his arms wrapped around to his girlfriend. God! His girlfriend looks like a cheap hooker!
“walk away sir. Please” I jumped in the middle to calm them down and to prevent further testosterone fight!
“Tyler, please take Julian home.”
“what? Why me? No. you take him home Mark I don’t have my car with me.” I retorted because why would I take him home?
“please? I can’t leave Sheena alone she’s sober. Take Julian’s car. Here are the keys.”
okay fine. Inalalayan ko nalang si Julian palabas ng bar. I know his car. I was the first to ride it with him when he bought it. he’s heavy and drunk. I unlock his car and drive him home to his apartment.
“where is your key Julian?” I asked him because I gave him back the key when we broke up because I don’t have the right to keep it anymore. Obviously he didn’t answer back. I just fetch the keys in his side pocket.
When I turned the lights on all I see is a mess. This is an apartment.   This is a land fill. What happened to you Julian? You are a mess. Even his bed, it’s disgusting. Ew!
“well this is crazy!”
So I cleaned the room. I put him down the sofa at his living room. I find this weird because it’s past 1 and I’m cleaning. 
Clean. Clean. Sweep. Fold.  Oh god! This is exhausting. Once I am done. I washed him with wet cloth and change his pants and shirt. Don’t get me wrong I didn’t undress him completely I left his underwear on.
Kinumutan ko na siya at ako naman ay humiga na sa salas. Ayoko namang tabihan siya. Jeez! What a night to spend on my off.
I woke up with a blinding light on my eyes. Oh my! It’s 10 A.M. I overslept. Then it hit! Im in a different house! All this, the T.V. the vase beside it, all familiar. Oh god! Im at his apartment then I recalled everything from last night. From the fight to cleaning his apartment. This is insane and I’m hungry!
I opened his frig to look for something to cook. I pulled eggs and hotdogs then fried them. I also cooked friend rice because that is the usual thing to eat in the morning. I’m preparing the table when I heard like someone is puking.
“ow! Hang over? Tibay mo brad! Galling!” I said to Julian with a joking voice and annoying face.
“stop and please grab me some coffee!”
“well, excuse me mister I’m not your maid here and grab your own coffee! Ginusto mo yan!” I said then I slam the door for him to know I’m pissed. I return to the kitchen and continued preparing the table for breakfast.
“Julian let’s have breakfast! It’s ready c’mon!”
“you are a sourpuss you know that? and What happened last night?”
“you got in a fight because you kissed someone’s girlfriend and you were so drunk last night and you even tried to rapped me!”
“I did? Well? Did it happened?” he asked as if he’s liking it.
“all of it is true except the last part.” I said firmly to stop the freaking smile on his face.
“oh, that’s bad. Wanna try it now?”
“ew, julian! Eat and I’ll be out here. Im just hungry and welcome if you want to say thank you for taking care of you.
“why so eager to leave doctor?”
“I’ll be oncall later.” I lied.
“okay I’ll drive you to the hospital then.”
“no. thank you.”
“I insist. That’s the least I can do for taking care of me last night.”
“I can take a cab and don’t act like you are my boyfriend. We broke up me remember and if not for mark I won’t be here. I should be spending my time at home relaxing!”
“wait, what? Relaxing? So you’re not on call today, are you?”
Oh fuck!
“pake mo ba? Can I just have a peaceful breakfast please?”
We ate silently and this think cloud of awkwardness is killing me. I just want to leave this place. So after I finished my breakfast I immediately grab my phone beside the table and I’m going home.
“wait! I said I’ll drive you home and you can’t take a cab because your wallet is here. So you don’t have a choice!” what? Damn! I forgot my wallet at the table. So stupid.
“let’s go.” Julian on this pajamas with a big smile.
“okay fine.”
I have no choice but to let him drive me home. He’s not giving me my wallet. Kahit ang subok kong agawin sa kanya ang wallet ko ay di ko magawa. Mas matangkad kasi siya sa akin
I hear only the music in the car and I have no plans in breaking that silence. Besides its his idea to drive me back to my apartment.
“please hear me out”
“hear your what? Filthy excuse?. No thanks.”
“megan and I only lasted for a month because I realized I was a fool for leaving you. I love you so much Tyler you know that. After what I did I have no face to show in front of you and your parents. I tried to talk to you but your mom said you left the country. You drove me crazy Tyler, God knows. Please come back to me. I looked at him I see tear in his eyes. Those dark deep eyes, I was so in love with them and still I am. I know how sincere he is. But I just can’t let my guard down. I tried so hard so forget you but I can’t. why? I asked myself.
“I can’t just let you in again just that Julian. I’m so close to moving on Julian and in just seconds in that elevator I’m back to scratch again. i wish moving on from you isn’t that easy after all mas matagal pa ata kaysa sa pagusad ng traffic sa EDSA and I hate you for that.”
“just give me another chance. I’ll win you back” I said and the car came to a stop. I immediately went out and straight to my apartment.
“hey Tyler! Your wallet.” He shouted and I run to get it back and grab my hand inside the car.
“what the! Julian balak mo bang baliin ang kamay ko?”
He came close to me and whispered to my ear.
“I’ll win you back again baby and this time i won’t let you go anymore.” He said with a lascivious tone.

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