Music of My Life (Part 9)

By: Xianne

start of class 2nd year na ako, at 1st year na si shane sa isang matandang unibersidad sa cebu... nursing ang kinuha niya, araw araw gabi gabi, minu-minuto, text tawag, kahit nag sa class lagi ako nahuhuling may katext ng teacher ko, pero sabi ko, emergency po, sa bahay...heheheh, naging ok naman ang lahat hanggangs adumatig ang pint na medyo dumalng ang mga text ni shane sa akin...

isang ara sinubukan kung hindi mag text, hindi tumawag, wala din akong nareceive mula sa kanya, sumunod na araw ganun pa din ang ginawa, ganun din ang nangayari... sa ikatlong araw kuya niya ang tinext ko

me: Where's Shane?
ray: his here kumkanta with his classmates..
me: ganun ba? pakisabi nalang hi

at di na nag reply si kuya ray, 10 inuts after i receive a cll from shane, asking why im not texting him, i answer him "honestly, you are the one who said that we must update each other everyday, everything what we do, and just recently i dont even got any updates from you, your not texting me, in my 10 SMS one reply from you, ok, your might be busy on your studies, but asking me why am i not texting you? try it tomorrow to text me good morning first before i do so... and wait until i reply so that you will know how hard it is to wait for a reply." tapos kung sinabi yun dingadan ko pa ng enjoy your time with your new friends,
bye need to sleep now." yun yung last naming pag uusap, kinabukasan di parin xa nag text, so di ko tinext, 2days, 3 days, 4 days until one week 2weeks no text from him...

after 3 weeks of not receiving any updates from him i focus my attention to my studies and good thing joshua always stay with me, listen to me, and cry with me, joshua knew that we dont have any relationship but only a mutual understanding, there is no commitment between the two ofus, so you cant consider it that we really had a relationship, Joshua knew everything me and shane, they even become very good friends. one day, I borrow Joshua's cellphone, kukumustahin ko sana si shane using his number, but something push me to check his inbox first, isaw a text messages from shane itself.

message one: ano ba dapt kung sabihin para di ko xa masaktan?
message two: i like you Josh, feeling ko ikaw na ang hinahanap ko.
message three: josh, just let me know if i got a chance with you.

sinauli ko agad ang phone ni Joshua, sabi ko di ko makontak ag tatawagan ko at bigla nlang umalis, hinablot niya kamay ko at tinaong ako kung may problema bah? sinabi ko nalng na pls dont follow me...at sumunod naman xa, sa skul lagi kaming magkakasalubong ni josh, pero umiiwas na rin ako sa kanya, maraming nagtataka, maraming nagtatanong pero deadma lang ako. napilitran akong magpalit ng number, tanging si mga kapatid ko lang at mama ko ang may alam ng number ko, sabi ni pia younger sister ko na nag text daw si shane at nagtatanong kung nong number kong bago, tinanong ko xa kung binigay ba niya, sabi niya na hindi daw ayun sa bilin ko s kahya, maging si mommy ganun din, si tita cathy nanghingi din ng number ko, pero sabi ko, ai tita kung may kailangan kayo tex o analng si mommy.

lumipas ang mga buwan, december na naman, naisipan ng family ko na sa manila namin e spend ang christmas at new year. after ng new year nag sinulog pa kami sa cebu... SINULOG MO SIYAGIT UG KUSOG, PIT SENYOR, dun kami ulit nagkita ni shane, pero di kami nag usap, nakatira a sa bahay ng tito ko kaya kami nagkita, hindi naging maayos ang 1st Sinulog experience ko dahil sa amin ni shane. bigla nlang kami di comfortable sa isat-isa, umuwi kami ng zamabonga city kinabukasan. natpos ang second year na medyo bumaba ang grades ko, i placed second after Lei my bestfriend, no worries, ok lang naman ako dun, sports naman kami ni lei.

3rd year na kami ngayon at trying to regain everything for me.. maganda ang naging resulta ng unang dalawang quarter ng school year na ito, October 15, 2004 annual PTA meeting and Midyear Recognition din...the most unforgettable day of my life.

morning chat with mom:

me: are you going to attend the PTA today?
mom: yes, and mid year recognition niyo diba?
me: yes mom, i already know the result, but pls check how was my grade, i was not able to check it yet kasi tanging yung top 10 lang inanunsyo ni madam, pero di niya naman sinabi ano ranking namin, basta ang sure na nasa top 10 kami...
mom: i know you will be in top ten, nasa iyo na lahat eh.
me: mom, you know i will not be able to this without your guidance as well, thanks mom.

sumingit ang retired captain na Daddy ko, di kami close kaya deadma lang ako sa kanya

dad: are we still going to attend's Jing's house blessing today?
mom: if the PTA meeting will finished early, maybe we can catch up by the afternoon.
dad: we must go, you know i need to talk with jings husband for the business
mom: ok

Mom on PTA while me in the Faculty office...after the meeting

me: mom, how was it, ano ba daw ang placement ko?

(the midyear recognition during pta meeting is awarded directly to parents and another program will be conduct during the morning ceremony)

mom: ano ba anman yan, bakit ang baba ng chemistry mo, lahat nag 92 93 94 ang score mo,liban sa chem mo na 88, bakit ang baba nun?
me: ma, i hate chemistry, you know that
mom: buti nalang nakabawi ka sa ibang subjects, lapit ng grades niyo ni goldie, pero first ka pa rin.

tuwang tuwa ako that time, pagdating sa bahay

me: aalis kayo? sabi mo mag cecelebrate tayo?
dad: later when we got home:
me: but mom, you promise...
mom: will be here before seven, pls prepare everything for an all night party..hehhee

i kiss mom goodbye, i hugged her very tight, i said take carte, i told dad, Drive safely, dont rush it, we can wait.

at night 630 i receive a text from mom

message: " on our way home, bili ka nalang ng lechon manok gang, we have cake here, and bili ka na din ng softdrinks kung wala na tayong stock"

7pm, they are supposed to be at home nah, i just saty calm, 730 and still no mom and dad, i started to worry and pray, i try to contact mom's phone, its ringing, no one is answering,
8pm i tried to call once again, cannot be reach alrady..

8:30, im inside my room when i hear someone opens the gate, happy ako axado anjan na sila, baka na traffic or may dinaanan lang, pero nung nakita ko kung sino ang dumating, umiiyak ito, its my tita bing, co worker ni mom sa LGU

me: tita, bakit ka umiiyak? tita may nangyari ba?
tita bing: xian, huhuhuhu, xian, paano ko ba sasabihin to, xian si mommy at daddy mo
me: what? ano nangyari kay mom and dad?
tita: (still crying, i satrted to worry and kumuluha na rin, alam ko na ang gusto niyang sabihin) na aksidente sila, they are in the hospitalm come quick, puntahan mo, hinahanp ka ng daddy mo.

i started to cry, i ask her how about mom, is she ok, di ba maxaong grabe yung aksidente?  i reach the hospital,as a son of a government employee people know you already, nung nakita nila ako binigyan nila ako ng daan, puntahan mo daddy mo, hinahanap ka niya, yun ang sabi ng isang tao na di ko kilala, over hear a woman say, "si treasurer grabe" i ask the nurse wheres my mom, they said their trying to save her mom, she is unconscious at this moment, how about my dad, nasa kabilang room, pinunthan ko si dad, while i instruct my younger sister to contact my other two sister, pagkakita ko kay dad, she said im sorry, pinapadali kasi ako ng mom mo, when he speak i can smell the alcohol from his breath, alam ko nah, my dad is drunk, and my mom dont want to miss every promise that she made, specially a promise for me.,.. she aways make it sure she is on time, i know i can be blame, but why? my dad is drunk, alam niya na magmamaneho xa bakit xa uminom?  alot of question comes in to my mind

i look for my younger sis, when i found her i ask if she already contact ate, ate baby cannot be reach, and i remember she is taking her CPA board exam today, si ate naman super busy sa work sa london while trying to contact ate ann for further instruction i also try to complete the admission paper for my mom and dad, dad is now ok, but need to be check by neurologist.

in the admission area:
me: what?(shock) are you kidding me, your giving us what?
admin.rep: the only available bed that we have right now is the charity ward.
me: for god sake, miss, my mom is unconscious, she is in critical condition and your putting her to a charity ward? how about the ICU?
admin.rep: under construction pa ang ICU namin sir, wala po kaming available na private room kasi full po kami, wala po tayong choice kundi tanggapin and charity, or else baka mamatay na mommy mo sa emergency room. (very sarcastic admission)
di ako natuwa sa kanya, tinawagan ko tita ko the chief Nurse,

tita: hello?
me: tita its me xian.
tita: oh xian, ive heard that your mom and dad got an accident, is it true
me, yes tita and i need you here.
tita: we are on our way, Oh my god, hintayin mo ako jan, lets talk
me: ok tita

we decided to transfer mom to a much better hospital, but there is no availble ambulance as of this moment because all of it are out to get patients so we schedule the transfer @6am kasi 3am naman that time,
nagsidatingan mga ka opisina ni mommy, andun din mga classmates ko, lahat ng mga tao nag ppray para kay mom... joshua was there trying to console me, iyak pa rin ako ng iyak, i blame everything to me and to my dad kaya nagka ganyan si mommy...
my phone is very busy, as well as my moms other phones... evrybody is trying to talk to me, asking updates, but im just so fragile that time, dali kung maiyak,

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sasusunod ko na ekewnto ang iba, kasi tumutula na naman ang luha ko.... flash back, ito yung gtreatest downfall ko...